Dear Rebster
In the first place, I think most contributors to this website, myself included, would agree that, in principle, it is far better that you should negotiate a financial agreement with your wife rather than go through the whole gamut of a contested hearing, which can cost £20,000+. I assume from your letter that you know what a
Consent Order is and why it is desirable for you to have one, but if not, please ask.
I believe, and certainly where there are significant assets involved, that legal advice should be taken at an early stage from a solicitor who specialises in family law. I do not think this suggestion is inconsistent with the previous paragraph about the desirability of negotiation. You need to know the sort of order that a Court would be likely to make in your case before you can negotiate sensibly, otherwise you may be at a disadvantage, especially if your wife has already taken advice from a solicitor who, on the basis of what you say, may be giving her expectations which are unlikely to be realised.
First issue is
child maintenance. I suggest you go to the CSA website. This has a calculator which should enable you to work out your liability. As you say, it reduces when the children grow up.
As regards maintenance for your wife - well, I think 50% of your salary is too high but you have omitted one piece of vital information - your wife's own earnings, assets and other resources. The fact that she is cohabiting will also reduce your potential maintenance liability.
Then there is the house. Normally, where there are children, it is likely that the spouse who has the care of the children - normally the wife - will have the right to stay there while the children are still under 18. In normal circumstances a Court will be unwilling to give the house to the wife outright with no compensation to the husband, but a trade off whereby the wife gets the house and the husband keeps his pension is certainly a possible option for you.
I am sorry if this reply is not perhaps as helpful as you would like, but you do need to remember that contributors to this site are not professionally qualified although they do have a better than averge knowledge of the divorce process ( from first hand experience, I may add ! ). Can I suggest you read the FAQ section on this website which you will find helpful.
Mike