hi there, hope someone can help. I split from my husband after 18 yrs of marriage 1 year ago, he lives in the marital home with my 15 year old son who wished to remain in the house at the split as it was nearer to school and friends. I have a rented flat and share the care of my son as my husband works nights etc so i have constant contact with him. We havent spoke to each other since i left unless it has been absolutely neccesary but im going to visit him tonight to discuss a divorce and the dividing of the assets. I dont want to argue and i would like it to be reasonably civil, i certainly wont be arguing over bits of furniture etc as i literally left the house with everything still in it, but what should i expect/ask for. We bought the house in 1998 for £56000 and it's now worth £160000 i dont pay maintenance but i have continued to pay all of the utility bills at the house since i left, (council tax, water rates, gas and electric by direct debit) i also give my son money for school etc and still buy his clothes and shoes etc. Im not sure if i should ask for half the value of the house, car, furniture etc and there is also his pension to consider, although i would forfeit that to make the split permananent. Please can anyone advise me?
Hi ya , I would seek mediation on that. By all means ask for a divorce but dont then start wading in with how the assets would need to be split. It could end up a big row. IMHO if i was you I,d give both yourselves a few days to let the fact a divorce is gonna happen sink in & then apply for mediation. Once everything is sorted thro mediation , the actuall divorce its self can run quite smoothly. Well thats what is happening to me , but hey every divorce is diffrent. Good luck.
Thanks for that, i was considering something along those lines but will see how it goes tonight and how civil he will be too, although hes asked me for a divorce about a month ago so the shock of that has settled down now its just the house and the care of my son we will discus tonight? Just wondered how to approach it and whether it would be ok/legal to do it this way if both sides agree?
Hi , Its great if you are amnicable enough to sit around & sort it yourselves without any other party present. However , you could end up selling yourself short doing that. mediation is a superb way of sorting things, I cant rate it highly enough. They are completley nuetral & give good advice on sticky questions.
You must have a starting figure bouncing around up top , so why not write down all your worth on a bit of paper, all your debts etc & ask hubby to do the same. mediation only works if you are both 100% honest with all your assets & debts etc. Get booked on a session & go for it, once its all done , just get a solicitor to run over the agreement , it gets sworn in then bobs yer uncle. A few months later your signing your Absolute !! BTW this is only how it has panned out for me !! Every divorce is diffrent.
thanks for the advice will see how it goes tonight and im sure within the first 10-15 minutes will tell whether we can both agree if no solution can be granted then will suggest mediation to him and take it from there.