she says she doesn't want apenny !

hi all
when i met her she had nothing,she had never worked,had a son who's father never paid a penny towards his boy,but she was fun to be with and i worshipped the ground she walked on.
after being together for 2yrs,we married in 2001.
20 mths later,i discovered she had been committing adultery for 4mths.my world fell apart and she left to be with him.
i tried and tried to win her back because i adored her but to no avail.
i now know that too much water under the bridge has gone and i have no feelings left for her.
i am in the FMH,it was my money that paid the deposit,my money that paid the mortgage,my money that furnished it,my money that paid the bills and to date still do.
she says she doesnt want anything from me because she feels so guilty for the hurt and pain she put me through.
can she decide this or will a court over- ride her and award her half of what i own?

someone else up early I see.couldn't you sleep either?I cant advise as I don't know but someone will offer advice later I'm sure.I only wish my sx2b thought the same as your sx2b and didn't want anything.Perhaps I could get some sleep then.good luck, hope your day and mine gets a bit better.

Wow ! Well, I have to say it makes a nice change from wives who want to take their ex's to the cleaners.

Have you actually taken steps to divorce yet ?

If you haven't, then if you or your ex subsequently decides to take proceedings ( and she might do, if she wants to re-marry ) then either party has the right to claim ancillary relief against the other.

If you don't claim ancillary relief, or if she doesn't, and you carry on your merry way and get divorced, then it is, in theory, possible to make a claim at a later stage, although for a number of reasons it is always better to make the claim in the petition. In particular, if your ex re-marries without having made a claim for ancillary relief, she loses her right to claim for all time.

Is the FMH in your name only ?

The fact that she is committing adultery is likely to help you because it means her housing needs are met, as also is the fact that the marriage is a short one. Unfortunately the way the Courts treat short marriages is a little confused these days.

It is an option for the parties to apply for a Court order incorporating terms already agreed between the parties. Unfortunately I think there is a danger that a Court could, as you put it ' overrule you ' especially if the agreement was made without legal advice. She isn't likely to get half, but if I were advising your wife, I think I would have to tell her that conduct, especially adultery, doesn't matter all that much these days and she might well get something. Do nothing and you take the risk that she might do an Oliver Twist and come back for more later.

I can't forecast the future, and it's up to you whether you want to be like Brer Fox and ' lie low and say nuffin " and I think it would be worth your while having a
short interview with a family law practicioner to get his or her advice as to whether it is best to do nothing at all or try to get a Consent Order while your wife is still in a contrite mood.

Mike 100468

Get a consent order confirming what you and her have decided on the assets.

She can change her time at anytime.

Best of luck if it goes to court but hopefully she will give you all you want and you can forget her.

topaz thanks for your reply
i'm sure as the days go by you'll be able to sleep soundly again
it took along time for me to sleep without waking every 20 minutes
and remember, as every day goes past we get stronger and stronger and more resiliant to the hurt that some people want to put us through. smile and have a great day!

topaz thanks for your reply
i'm sure as the days go by you'll be able to sleep soundly again
it took along time for me to sleep without waking every 20 minutes
and remember, as every day goes past we get stronger and stronger and more resiliant to the hurt that some people want to put us through. smile and have a great day!

mike/ special dad. thanks for your comments . very helpful.
i did start a petition a long time ago but the only person getting anything from it was my solicitor....800 quid!her solititor was pushing her to take me to the cleaners and she didnt want that.so it fizzled out for reasons i cant remember.
no,FMH is in joint names,this was my way of showing commitment to her.
i heed your warning about oliver and as you and SPECIALDAD both confirm a consent order that will be the path that i take. again many thanks.