Hi, I divorced my husband in 2003 following 2 years separation. At the time of our separation in October 2001, we had a mortgage of £112,000 on a property worth approx 150,000 with 12 years left to run. My ex husband had a solicitor friend who told us not to involve solicitors as this would be costly. He advised my ex-husband to pay me £25000 as a Clean Break payment. This was to include 1/2 equity on the house, 1/2 the car (bought the previous year for £16,000) and 1/2 the contents of the house.
I moved out of the family home and our 3 children in theory had 50:50 shared care (although they stayed every other weekend with my ex and one night during the week, so the majority of the time with me).
By the time I paid a deposit on my house of £17,000(purchased for £99,000), I had only £8,000 left to completely start again from scratch. I didn't get any maintenance of any sort from my ex, has he paid almost £400 per month for child minding fees.
What I would like to know, is that after 5 years of divorce, what are the chances of getting any more money out of him? We have both since married again.
He is very comfortably off and in the process of buying a 2nd home in Spain, where as I find myself over £50,000 in debt on top of my mortgage, due to his lack of contribution.
Do I stand a chance or should I just let it go?
As far as I am aware, CeeBee, the fact that you have remarried means that you can no longer make any claim for ancilliary relief against your former husband. If you believe the financial order was made without full disclosure of all financial assets etc then you may have an option to have the financial order revisited but after 5 years I would have thought this possibility remote.
Dont give up too easy...there are many different cases where people have revisited their finances...lool at some of the news reports on this site......whilst i disagredd with the "second bite of the cherry " case.....it may be helpful in your situation
Elle, this is where it is complicated...
As my ex paid for childcare, I didn't ask for maintenance from him. However, once the children no longer needed this, 2004 onwards, I asked him for help. He declined and I didn't want to involve CSA. This went on until last year, when he finally agreed to pay a monthly sum on the agreement that the girls stayed an additional night during the week with him. He did this for 5 months, then in December, deducted money from the maintenance that he had spent on the girls without disussing with me first. It was just before christmas and I had been budgeting carefully and it is also a stressful time for me, so I basically threw my toys out of the pram and involved the CSA. Big mistake.
The CSA awarded me far more than he was paying, so he decided to persuade the children to stay another night with him, effectively making the nights average out even over the year. He then put in a claim for child benenfit and was awarded it for one of the children! He is now counter claiming CSA from me for that daughter and I, in effect am worse off than before! I feel so bitter about it all, it just seems so unfair. The girls didn't want to stay another night with him, but what he says goes.... what is to stop him telling them to stay there all the time!
Cee Bee, How old are your 3 children? I ask because after a certain age (around 10 I think my solicitor said) they can make up their mind about who they want to live with etc and your ex can't force his wishes upon them. If they don't want to stay with him then they don't have to. It appears to me that he is using child care as a financial weapon against you (and to get out of his financial obligations to jointly support them) and that is oh so wrong. If the girls choose not to spend so much time with him then he cannot claim Child Support from you and you could claim the additiojnal amount from him (should he decide to work!!)