is there any way of getting my financial order varied/reduced, without going to the expense of further financial hearings which I have been advised will cost 10K.
my ex will never agree to a variation even though my income is not enough to support the order, so she will take it all the way and then try to put all her costs on me, which is what happened first time around.
my financial order is open ended until she remarries. i cannot affrod to keep paying her and my children are now at uni and she is milking the maintenence I have to pay.
The only question I have is this - you say you had to pay your wife's costs last time. The rules have now changed and it is unlikely that this would happen again. If your wife had to pay her own costs she might be a wee bit more likely to go to mediation.
If the costs you quote are your own costs, not yours and your wife's, then that is pretty serious, and you are stuck between a rock and a hard place.
You need to be aware that the Court will look at the whole situation afresh, so that it is possible to go for a reduction and get an increase, or vice versa. One of the difficulties is not knowing your wife's financial situation.
From your wife's point of view, it is, of course, not a good idea to impoverish the person on whom you are relying to pay maintenance. But Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned ! Unfortunately there are those ( of either sex ) who use issues like this to get back on a former spouse.
I think you will find an article somewhere one this site about how to save legal costs. There is actually quite a bit you can do for yourself. You can, in the final analysis, represent yourself. Some of our posters have achieved quite decent results, and made themselves experts by reading this site !