I'd really appreciate some help on a finanial settlement please. We want things to be amicable but cannot come up with an agreement we're both happy with.
Here's the basics
Together 10 years, living together 8 yrs, married for 2 1/2 years. I am 34, he is 40 - we have no children, but my husband has a 19 year old son in full time education (from a previous relationship)
My earnings, £24,000 - his earnings £42,000
We each have approx £16,000 in savings. I have a car worth about £3,000. He also has shares valued at approx £10,000
Pensions we both have, but do not know the values at this stage
My husband bought his house in 1999 for £84,500 and I moved in the following year (it was valued last year at £240,000 (2007)
He said he didn't want a contribution from me on the mortgage/bills (even though i offered many times). He also gets £200 a month from his lodger, so he said that he didn't need extra from me. I have contributed financially in other ways and we always go halves on everything we buy for the house, food etc. I bought the car and pay all the tax/MOT etc
I feel betrayed in a way that he wouldn't take any money from me for the mortgage (I have given him approx £5,000) towards the mortgage in a block payment which I'd saved. Because he's now saying that the house is his and it is unfair that he should end up giving me a gods share of the assets, especially as I didn;t have a house before we met.
I'm finding everything a bit confusing, but all I want is for things to be fair
You should certainly get a share in the house. The fact that he originally provided it is relevant, but this factor matters less over time.
I feel that a priority of a Court would be making sure you both have somewhere to live. This is difficult for an outside to advise you about, not knowing the housing situation in your area.
Pensions would come into the equation, but again, not knowing the CETV, I can't say.
My advice is, first of all, you are approaching the matter in a sensible and mature way. It is better to resolve what differences you have by mediation or conciliation rather than resorting to the Courts. But before you do, my advice is, assemble the full facts about your financial situation and what you know of your husband's. Take this to an experienced family solicitor, preferably a member of Resolution or a collaborative law practicioner, and ask for an hour's legal advice on your own account. It won't cost an arm and a leg and it will give you some idea of what is reasonable in your case.