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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

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What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

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FDR nightmare - now what ?

  • hadenoughnow
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19 Mar 08 #17236 by hadenoughnow
Topic started by hadenoughnow
Ok. HAd FDR today. Horrible. In short xtb wants to keep all his pension (worth approx the same as house) plus to have endowment - which I need to pay off mortgage plus 20k.
It works out as more than 50% assets to him.
I have the kids (3), pay all the bills inc mortgage etc and have done for 10 yrs.
He is not well now but has years of alcohol abuse behind him and doesn't work but can take pension this year.
married since 89, separated since 04. Doesn't see kids. Living in rented accomm.
I am working in precarious job on much lower salary than when married. My pension v small (less than 1/3 his).

I offered cash to buy out endowment plus him to keep pension. He wants to go to final hearing. Am told it will cost me 10k min.

aaargh! What can I do? My sol says my offer is more than fair.

His opening offer was him keep pension and sell house and have half proceeds when youngest leaves school in 6 yrs.
All kids going to uni.

want this to stop .

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19 Mar 08 #17242 by OHPPS
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May I ask what the judges opinion at the FDR was, you seem to be focusing on what your ex wants ... did the FDR judge express an opinion that would be acceptable to you? have you made any offers?

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19 Mar 08 #17243 by OHPPS
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Yes you have made offers keep focused on what you need

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20 Mar 08 #17263 by hadenoughnow
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What I need is a stable home for the kids and me - there is no merit in selling this and buying another because a suitable property would cost the same as the FMH. I can get a mortgage to cover what is outstanding on this one but no more. There is an endowment covering the mortgage. I have been advised that stopping it now would be foolish as it is 5 yrs from maturity and covers both lives. I want the endowment to continue so I can see an end to the mortgage. My pension is very small so the house would have to help me in retirement. It needs some urgent repairs which must be done before next winter.

I have a small income from my own company and supplemented by p/t work plus Ch Tax credits etc but company is precarious because it is dependent on contracts and they are very hard to come by. There is a sum in the company to cover household costs for a short while in case there is no work and another income plan is needed - wd need to retrain.

The judge suggested we look at the endowment to try to settle so, knowing a relative has offered to help out, I offered to pay him the value of the endowment although goodness knows what he would do with that money.

We did exactly what the judge suggested although it will put me in financial difficulties as I would have to pay interest on the money - this will mean half my income is used up on mortage, loan, endowment etc.

xtb wants the endowment + 20k and to keep his pension - this adds up to more than half the assets pot (about 54%).

I thought the fact I have the children would be in my favour (he doesn't see them) but apparently not :(.

It has been sugested to me that I withdraw all offers and make an open offer that is less than we offered in court.

Any thoughts and advice gratefully received.

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