Worry

I havent slept alot over the last few nights and would like others views on this....
Married 17 years...
2 children 1 18yrs 1 13 yrs
Him
house value 128k mortgage 116k
claims parents have lent him 12 k
wages 2477 a month
car 2k
pension 50k
debts 17k that i knew of
shares unknown value as claims he has none
Me
House value 150k purchased out of inhertence left by my parents
wages 1350 a month includes working tax credit child maintenance etc
car 2k
pension 6k
debt 12k

I have been advised i have a strong case for maintenance whilst son is in education but my ex has said if take him to court he would ringfence my property but has been saying that since day one as a threat..i have had if you dont sell the marital house by x date then i will ringfence hence while i sold.
This situation seems unfair to me i have done retail jobs which fit aound the children and will have to retrain to be able to earn at least 15oo a month.
I have look ok on paper now but at 19 after my son finishes college im financally screwed...it seems unfair that in 6 years my ex will still earn 2400 amonth still have 50k pension and when his parents pass away he will also have a house thats paid for plus the shares which hes hidden.
I have the option to take him to court but me sol has said it may be 5k but im already 12k in debt and would the maintenance out weigh the costs of taking him to court!
I feel ive feel stiched up by a kipper by him and to make matters worse...he doesnt even seem interested in picking his son up from school to help me out which is why i think hes not gone for custody of him!
They say its usually the man who comes off worst but not in this case....
He claims that hes had no money since we split but has paid costs for divorce if i cooperate...left me with unpaid bills from previous house even though he said he would pay them!
others views on this would be appreciated...im scared to take him to court incase the judge awards him part of my property because my priority lies with keeping a roof over my sons head and im scared of putting myself in another 5k of debt...

I would also like to point out that nothing ever has been signed for financial and so i have the worry that in years to come he may come back and try and ringfence the property..
I did think about leaving financial claims open because i know hes hidden his shares form work as company was buying him out.How long do have to make a claim on him?

Are you receiving CSA child maintenance?

As for the rest, I would say it is not so clear cut. There may or may not be shares - if they are options, they are theoretical and would probably not be taken into account because they may not vest. Similarly, a future inheritance is not normally considered. However, this 12K his parents lent him is considered a soft loan and is part of the pot.
If you consider your respective assets and liabilities as they are, the split is about 70:30 in your favour. Your housing needs are fulfilled. He has a mortgage to pay, and that, with the CM closes the gap in your incomes.
On the face of it, I''d say that he has a good case for a Clean Break.

I understand what you are saying but the inheritence was tied up in a deed of trust which surely shouldnt be taken into account?.
I do believe hes hidden things as wont provide a form E voluntary...

I think once children come into the equation, and you are married, that overrides any deed of trust. Deeds of trust are viewed as prenuptials in that they are fine if you both have lots but as soon as one party has significantly less then they are worthless.
His parental loan will not be considered unless he can prove he has been regularly repaying it. He also has a good deal of debt, which is joint debt if accrued during your marriage, even if he ends up repaying it all.
I find it difficult to believe you have a strong case for maintenance given your significantly greater assets, plus your ex has a mortgage to pay every month. I don''t think you''ve been stitched up, you will walk away with a much greater share of the assets

i understand what you are saying but when we sold our last house he instructed our solicitor that he wanted half the equity which was 36,000...so shouldnt that be taken into account?...hence why the deed was drawn up or we wouldnt be able to have brought a new house.. know hes being brought out of a family business but he denies having any shares but we were talking about it just before we split..my solicitor said i should have a case for sm as my outgoings leave me no money to repair anything that breaks and none for school trips and heaven forbid my ex pays anymore then the csa amount because he wont!

If he has any interest in the past 2 years in a business, he will have to declare this on form E. if he''s not been bought out, he still has shares which will count as joint assets. If he has, then he will have to explain what has happened to the money. If you suspect he is hiding money then the best thing is to apply to the courts, you can do this yourself for a relatively small fee. He then has no choice but to comply.
But think about the angle his solicitor will have on this. Yes, he has more per month but will be committed to paying a mortgage for 25 years, an outgoing you won''t have. He also has hefty debt repayments and cm payments to you to make. These 3 things alone will probably be costing him around 1300 - 1500 PCM. And he may well suggest that, at 13, your son doesn''t need collecting from school which would allow you to increase your working hours.