Help - please

can anyone help? - I have just received a letter from stbx stateing that due to us both living in rented accomidation and the fact that stbx earned his mod pension before the marraige all i am entitled to the half of the contents of the FMH.

I am sure they are trying it on but below is the history:

I will try to keep this brief:

married 9 years - lived together 1 year before marriage.

no children - he is 51 im 46.

both in full time employment (now) i say now because when he came out of the forces in 2003 he did not secure a full time work position until 2008 - in all that time i have worked to pay the rent and all utilities etc.

i have had to pay off a baliff who turned up on the door step and refused to go away until i had given him post dated cheques totalling nearly £3,500.00!

during this time i have been unable to save anything or make any pension provisions.

during this time i have been diagnosed with Rheumatiod arthritis and am now registered disabled - however i have always worked on a full time basis - but my illness is not getting any better and the stress of all this is making it worse.

His assets

1 motorbike
1 classic motorbike
1 car
2 personal number plates
1 mod pension
1 nhs pension

me :

nothing

he earns slightly more than i do but he receives a monthly payment (not a small amount either) from his mod pension

All i have asked for is SM i have not even suggested a figure.

am i being unreasonable and are they correct that i am not entitled to anything ?

please help - as they have requested a reply.

Hello and welcome to wiki, you will find lots of people that will be able to advise you better than I can but I will try to answer some of your questions.

If the letter is just from your stbx and not official then you do not need to respond, but as your assets do not add up to very much it will probably be in your interest to keep everything amicable.

It looks from you saying your separated, that you have not got a financial order stamped by the court. Before you would be in a position to make an informed decision you need full financial disclosure (FormE) for both of you.

There are many different thoughts on mediation, I have not personally experienced it as my exh refused to attend but this might be an avenue you want to explore.

Legal costs in Ancillary Relief can escalate very quickly so you need to weigh up if the outcome will be worth the cost. It is usual for the parties to pay their own costs, self representation might be something to consider. You will get a lot of help from this site if you go down that route.

Pensions are not easy and specialist but there are a number of options when it comes to providing income for you.

I would very much doubt that a Judge would sign a Consent Order that left you with no financial provision and more so in light of your recent diagnosis. Please look after your health the best you can and take care.

xx

Hi

Thank you for your reply.

The letter is from stbx''s solicitor.

I have tried to keep things amicable and have said to stbx that the best way would be for us to deal with things by way of a consent order. - but he refuses to discuss matters and just says im not entitled to anything.

We seperated 15 months ago with a view to working out of differences and in April he stated that he was seeing someone else and just wanted to move on with his life. - this has come as a shock and i''m finding it very hard to deal with.

I have now read your earlier posts and well done for getting your Petition in, things will now take their course and the judge wont rubber stamp the consent order with out financial disclosure. You stbx will have to comply so try to stay positive.

((((Hugs))))