Amicable but afraid thaat might change

Hi, I''m going through divorce, my STBX wife is divorcing me for unreasonable behaviour. It''s quite amicable so far and we agreed the finances but I''m worried her solicitor will try to move the goalposts at the last minute leaving me to contest the Petition.

I''m also unsure if my financial agreement is fair.

We are both 41 and have been together for 16 years, married for 13, separated 1 year ago. We have 3 children, aged 11, 9 & 9

We have 2 houses, she is staying in the marital home which has a substantial mortgage and a reasonable amount of equity in it (£75k). I have agreed to take the other property which may have a slightly less amount of equity (£70k - but liable to capital gains tax of £20k) We are both shown on both mortgages and I cannot get another mortgage until she releases me from hers. We have 3 kids and the house is a 5 bed detached exec home - bigger I am arguing, than her needs.

I earn £2800 a month
She earns £1800 a month, working full time
She receives £180 a month child benefit
She receives £340 a month Tax credits
I have the kids 2.75 nights a week - in order that she can continue to work full time
I pay £650 a month to her

CSA indicate around £550 a month, she wants the other £100 to help support her, am I being too generous?

She has a CETV pension of £75k
Mine is £225k
I retire in 7 years due to my 30 year pension entitlement but will be looking for a job thereafter
She retires at normal pension age
We have agreed she will receive 25% of my pension commutation but nothing of the monthly pension payments

I haven''t contested the divorce, I agree I have been unreasonable. I also agree I have to pay for the upkeep of my children, although I do have them a substantial period of time

I am concerned that
a. I''m paying too much
b. I''m going to be tied in for the rest of my life
c. I am going to go to court without full disclosure of what is being asked of me to ''hand over'' prior to the day

I trust me ex but I am worried that she will be influenced by others to seek a better settlement than the one we have agreed

I don''t however want to increase costs by contesting something that I don''t need to.

Sorry for the length of this, I''m new to these forums!!

Thanks

Hi
Welcome to wiki but sorry you find yourself here.
Fair is not an exact figure and can cover a wide range of outcomes, what you have proposed would probably fall within ''fair'' but could be argued that it is a little more equal than many settlements which see the lions share of cash going to the wife.

The FMH is a little bigger than her needs at a push a 3 bedroom property would strictly speaking meet her needs, but that would mean two of the children sharing and perhaps you would not want to suggest that.

With the exception of the pension you are looking at around 145k to divide if the division goes in your wife''s favour which it probably will she may be advised to go with anything up to a 70:30 split (possibly higher but less likley)

50:50 72.5k
60:40 87k
70:30 101.5k

Now the difference between a 50:40 and a 70:30 is 29k, not a small sum BUT once you hjave solicitors fight things out you potentially will kiss that and more goodbye in fees.
If you haven''t concidered it already it may be worth looking into mediation.

The maintenance figure of 650 is as you say a little higher than the CSA rate, so to that extent you are being generous, but if you look at what you have and what your wife will have should you pay that, she will have 2950 and you 2150.....

One thing I would say is that you are keeping quite a lot of your pension which is good for you but perhaps you should offer a little more in terms of cash now.

Are both you and your wife able to re-mortgage your proposed homes? If you are then that would appear to open the way for a clean-break where neither of you is on the other''s mortgage.

LB

Thanks LB. I was thinking that the £100 now would offset the monthly repayments later in life. Like everyone else I just feel a bit of resentment that the pension is what I''ve worked for. I supported her through her career changes and encouraged her to do more but she didn''t want to. Typical. I''ll not get on to morals!!

The mortgage is too high for her to take on by herself so I''m stuck for now. That''s the only reason I would ask her to sell. I''ve asked her to ask the mortgage company but she''s reluctant to do it.

I''ll keep pressing on!

Just 1 thing though, she is asking for costs capped at a certain level. Would she be able to ask for me to pay her solicitor''s fees as well as the court costs?

Thanks again