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Living together - STBX not paying anything...

  • Goodtimes1
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08 Jul 12 #341954 by Goodtimes1
Topic started by Goodtimes1
Hi all,

My question is what I do about sbtx not contributing. We are living together - I work and pay the bills and he doesn''t and pays nothing.

Background: I am the Petitioner. My stbx refused to negotiate direct, kicked off at mediation and ignores offers I''ve made. HE insisted we go through solicitors so submitted my form E in Jan, and still waiting for his!! TBH it has been like dealing with a 12 year old. :blink:

So have no choice but to apply to the courts. He has been out of work (this time) for over a year (has been sacked many times). But doesn''t bother sorting out jobseekers either.

Unbelievably he is now taunting me by spending money on going out, dates, cigs, booze, etc (all on credit) basically sticking 2 fingers up at me. He turned a job DOWN 6 months ago because it was an early start! Has now taken a home based sales job but is commission only, prob cos his Sol advised him to do something quick but still no contribution.

So if I start proceedings we''re talking at least 6 months of me continuing to pay the bills plus all my legal bills.

Can I offset this lack of contribution against the final settlement? Also would this be discussed at the 2nd hearing?
Also can I eventually claim costs as he has been completely obstructive?

My sol says I can apply for interim relief.

(Married 8 years, 1 x daughter, Me 42, Him 41).


  • LittleMrMike
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08 Jul 12 #341969 by LittleMrMike
Reply from LittleMrMike
You cannot get blood out of a stone, unfortunately. If he hasn''t got it, he can''t pay it.
Confronted by this sort of behaviour you have, in my opinion, no choice. Stop negotiating. It''s just throwing good money after bad. Get the matter before a judge as quickly as you can.
Can the Court take into account his financial improvidence ? Yes, I think it is possible, at least in principle. But make sure you keep a record of all receipts that you have paid.
Make sure you don''t have any joint accounts that he could use to run up debts.
I''d apply for costs, and if I had Aladdin''s Lamp I''d wish that people who play silly beggars like this did have to pay costs. It happens just about everywhere else, so why not with family law ? But I wouldn''t count on it.
On the issue of jobseeker allowance, the fact that you are working probably will mean that your incomes would be aggregated for the purposes of calculating entitlement, which would probably rule you out. I would certainly advise a benefits check with a CAB in low income cases. If by some chance you could get JSA it means you can get the '' passport benefits '' like free school meals, free prescriptions and so on. Tax credits are important, or can be.
If you have a daughter living with you there is a good chance that you could defer a sale till she is older, but I presume you''ve discussed that with your lawyer.

  • Goodtimes1
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10 Jul 12 #342358 by Goodtimes1
Reply from Goodtimes1
Thanks for the advice.

He is now giving me so much grief because he''s run out of money and somehow this is all my fault! And yet he''s been so careless with cash. If he''d just done his form E on time it could have been over by now and he''d have the pay off he is demanding.

Solicitors havent even started negotiating - am I to assume they will drag out the negotiation as long as possible given the potential ££££££ ?!

I don''t know what''s worse, letting the solicitors loose, or applying to court. I''d be really keen to take this to court given what''s gone on, it''s just the wait of 10-12 weeks for hearing is a pain!

  • maisymoos
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10 Jul 12 #342364 by maisymoos
Reply from maisymoos
It sounds like a nightmare. Get the court involved at least you will then have a timetable imposed , you are not tied into the full process and can still reach an out of court settlement at any stage.

If you don''t start proceedings your estimated 6 months could be far worse.

Good luck

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