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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


Draft Consent Order

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25 Jul 12 #345199 by Notadressrehearsal
Topic started by Notadressrehearsal
My wife and I have reached a financial settlement and my solicitor is waiting to receive a draft Consent Order from my wife''s solicitor. My solicitor was informed 5 weeks ago in a letter from my wife''s solicitor that she would be receiving the draft consent order shortly.

I have a simple question. How long should it take to create a draft Consent Order?

I also have a supplementary question. During the last eighteen months I have been very dismayed by, what I consider, is the unprofessional behaviour of my wife''s solicitor. She has consistently tried to prolong this process. Is there any legal regulatory organisation that I can report this individual to? Thanks for your help.

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25 Jul 12 #345201 by Action
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Do you know if it''s the solicitor or your wife that''s holding up the drafting of the order? Have you asked your wife? I assume you have agreed the content of the order between you? You could suggest to your wife that your own solicitor prepares the order instead.

I think that complaints can be made about solicitors not conducting things in a timely fashion but I suspect that it would need to be a complaint raised by whoever was instructing the solicitor, i.e. your wife. Just like dissatisfaction with any other product or service.

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06 Aug 12 #347519 by Notadressrehearsal
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My wife''s solicitor has been holding up the process but my wife says that it has now been sent to my solciitor. The content was agreed eight weeks ago.

Since my wife instructed her solicitor this process has taken eighteen months to get to this stage and although I have endeavoured to keep it amicable it has been a strain. My wife''s solicitor has consistently given the impression, through her correspondance to my solcitor and the court, that she wants this resolved without delay. However she has at every turn done the exact opposite throughout the whole process.

We had been seperated about nine months before solicitors got involved. We had agreed the financial settlement (which was also formally agreed eight weeks ago) from the very beginning and instead of waiting for the two year period, we decided to initiate divorce proceedings. We effectively tossed a coin and I became the Respondant. Originally we were going to work through it together and possbily use Wikivorce and their solicitors. However my wife was advised by a friend to use a solicitor.

Once my wife''s solicitor got involved the process had the potential to become confrontational. My wife amazingly took on the role of victim and was told not to speak to me about any part of the process. This was from a firm who promote on their website that all of their family lawyers are members of Resolution: First for Family Law (formerly The Solicitors Family Law Association) and follow its code of conduct to deal with matters in a conciliatory and cost effective way.

Anyway the process has cost us many thousands of pounds and the outcome is no different to what we agreed at the beginning. The only difference is that it has taken a very long time and made the solicitors alot of money. Although I want to maintain an amicable relationshop with my wife going forward I will never forget the unecessary stress that this has caused me.

I believe that my wife was in a vulnerable state and her solicitor played on this to elongate the process through asking an incredible amount of supplementary questions to the form E. These questions and those subsequent to these clearly showed that my wife had very mistrusting of me. This was devastating to me because this was the first time my wife had ever questioned my personal ntegrity and honest during 25 years of marriage. Although my wife was instructing her solicitor I am convinced that her solicitor motivation from the outset was to deliberately engineer an atomsphere of mistrust.

Anyway apologies for the dump but the process should hopefully come to an end shortly. This whole area really needs looking at especially the involvement of solicitors.

The process that I have been involved in had great potential to become very confrontational and even more expensive.

All because, in my opinion, of the involvement of solicitors who profess to encourage effective communication and a cost effective outcome.

Thanks for you help.

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06 Aug 12 #347525 by Action
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I had the same experience with my solicitor appearing to attempt to antagonise the situation. It was very difficult not to be dragged into it and she really did want me to go the court route and was even quite rude about the mediation process. I too was in a very vulnerable state and had lost all my confidence. If I had been stronger, I have no doubt I would have spent considerably less on legal fees.

I feel that unless your wife recognises the problem and makes a complaint herself, there is probably very little you can do. From what I have read on Wiki, I think your problem is very far from uncommon. Try to put it behind you, see that you are closer to the end of this mess and put your energy into re-building your own life. That''s not meant to sound patronising or to make light of a serious issue!

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06 Aug 12 #347533 by minusnine
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Hi, my experience has been very similar; correspondence from my ex-wife''s solicitor has always been full of personal remarks and claims against my character and always painted her as the victim.

It''s a simple tactic to push you into making a similar response - escalating things further. Don''t allow yourself to enter into a "tit-for-tat" response (easy to say I know). Stick with it and try not to let the solicitor''s games get you down.

In my case - their most recent letter went on for two pages slagging me off, and then offered to settle in the final paragraph?!

I decided to agree to their offer to settle and I''ve been waiting 5 weeks (so far) for their draft of the Consent Order.

Try to remain positive. This is the final piece of the puzzle and will ultimately allow you (and me) to move on.

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06 Aug 12 #347594 by missguided
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There was me thinking it was just stbx solicitor causing me issues!

We were well on our way to amicable arrangements until he got a solicitor.
Since then, he has now decided he doesnt agree with my reasons for UB (he had previously), wont agree to pay court costs and the latest was the threat to take me to court over where our son is educated. This was all escalated because his solicitor didnt like the fact that i''d written due to divorce i would be picking up school and holiday childcare costs, which is factual!
She also instructed him that he shouldnt be talking to me apart from selling house and child arrangements! Her tone is outrageiously rude, they ***** me off at all oportunities, give me unrealistic timescales and i would say are on the verge on bulling me.
Like you say, hilarious given that she is actually a mediation solicitor!!!!
Still i continue to rise above it and not do any knee jerk responses, but calmly just address the issues at hand, not the tit for tat!
Miss x

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