As the form H is about your legal costs, if you have been self repping you would only need to show any actual costs you''ve paid - e.g. if you have paid for any legal advice, or incurred costs such as a valuation. The main purpose iof the form is so the Judge can see what each of you has already spent and (in my experience) to warn you about how expensive proceedings are to encourage you to reach a settlement.
As this is the first appointment, the first thing the court is trying to do is to work out whether they have all the necessary information, and if not, what more is needed and in what timescale.
EDITED TO ADD
it is also OK for you to say to your ex''s rep. that you are not comformtable talking to her with him present as well. You can also (if you haven''t already) contact the court to ask them to make sure there is a conference room available so you don''t have to wait in the same waiting room as your ex
1. If your ex has filed a questionaire, be prepared to discuss with his solicitor which of the uestions you are willing / able to answer, and how long you will realistically need to provide the replies and any extra information or documents.
2. If you have filed a questionaire, be prepared to justify , if asked, why you need the replies. (for instance, questions about the minutiae of your ex''s outgoings are unlikely to be relevent if neither of you is asking for maintenance, you need to consider allquestions with a thought to their relavence to the finacial settlement you (or he) are seeking
3. What other information is missing? If you and your ex don''t agree on the value of any asset (the house beingthe most likely!) then come prepared to discuss (and if ned be, justify to the court) which agent or surveyor should value the property, who should pay for it and (if you are not currently living in the property) whether you want to be there.
4. If there are no biig gaps in the inforamtion, the Judge may ask whether you are able to use the hearing as an FDR. this would mean going prepared to tell the Judge and your ex what you propose as a settlement, and considering his proposals.
Be aware that while the Judge may encourage you to come to a settlement at court, you are fully entitled not to - if you are not certain, it is fine to say so, and to say you would like time to consider the proposals and to take advice. If the offer your ex has made is verbal, you can ask him/his solicitors to put it in writing. While strictly speaking he is entitled to wthdraw an offer at any time, in reality, if he offeres something at court, the chaces are that he''ll still be willing to settle on that basis a few days later. If you don''t agree at court, the Judge will make Directions for the next stage but those will go by the wayside if, after the hearing but before the next steps, you do reach an agreement and submit a
Consent Order to court.
Do rememebr that it is completely normal, and expected, to talk to the other operspon (or their representative) at court, before going in to see the Judge. It is often possible to agree things like which questions you''ll each answer, whether the house needs a formal valuation etc