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  • MrsSadness
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07 Aug 12 #347762 by MrsSadness
Topic started by MrsSadness
Hi all, been a few weeks since I joined, introduced myself and posted on this fantastic site: I feel brave enough now to start my own thread since I have a pressing question regarding MPS. Will be ticking all the boxes re Ancilliary Relief but do intend to apply for MPS - since ex has left me with nothing, made himself voluntarily unemployed as soon as he got a whiff of impending divorce, but I won''t go on! Suffice to say, ok, I tick all the AR boxes but according to the excellent article by Alexander Chandler and posted on here by such lovley helpful people, one also has to apply for MPS via a D11. So is it Form A and a D11 to apply. I need money desperately - I can not afford a solicitor, and am LIP by necessity. Furthermore, my ex has been lying about a) leaving his job b) already drawing his pension and lying about that amount too c) I fear he is in the process of dissapating marital assets as I speak - including the pension!

I can not take out a freezing order, since we seperated 20 months ago: he was always very secretive anyway and had bank accounts here there and everywhere - he even bought a flat behind my back when we were married - that is how duplicitous he is! So, we have had nothing to do with eachother apart from the usual absusive texts to me, and contacting my octogenerian parents for information about my intentions re a divorce....... the only thing I asked when I left him, was to leave those poor souls alone, but he even reneged on that.

Sorry, am going on a bit there! Point is though, anyone kind enough to reply, can someone actually clear up what seems to be a bit of ambiguity here? I thought MPS would be on Form A, but according to article posted on here, one also needs to submit a D11?????? Or have I missed something - probably just going mad, I think!

What I have learnt though, is once you walk out the MH - and especially in cases of Domestic Violence - best to apply for divorce asap - else, you run the risk of ex dissapating assets..... as has happened in my case over these last 20 months, where I was too numb and too much in pain --and honestly? - too damn scared of him to do anything, but just exist in the black hole of depression.

I am getting a bit of my old spirit back now, though... I mean he even put my dad on Facebook and now parades an assortment of women he''ll know I will see... I am not on there. That really was the last straw upsetting them at their ages.... so
big breath, I am going to start divorce proceedings - been saying that for months now, but I can''t keep taking hand-outs from them. Neither can I work, haven''t done so for two years due to the depression and the realisation, he played me for a fool. That hurt, but it all stacks up. Even lying about having stopped being in employment, lying about his pension - though hey ho, apparently pensions in payment is all part of marital pot, and a bit easier than the whole actuary/CEBV thing. I need to get a CEB on that, but how?

I am also thinking about taking non-molestation order out on him so he leaves both me and my poor old parents alone - ( for those out there trying to get rid of an abusive partner - costs 70 quid - BUT you have to have very good reasons and from what I have learnt on here, judge usually likes to get the offending person to take an ''Undertaking''. Good enough for me, if I get the nerve to do it.

I have done nothing yet - not even filled in my D8.

To those others out there in same boat, re Domestic Violence, and one was posted on here tonigth but I forget OP''s name, I will reply to you after this just with a supportive message.
This site is so good - I have learnt so much.

OK, sorry, first ever thread and I am going on a bit, but basically, MPS - Form A or Form A + D11? Sorry to have laboured on, but other people may find something I have said in this post helpful regarding their own situation, especially regarding an abusive ex. They work on your psyche, so you end up with no confidence and no self-esteem. This is why it has taken me 20 months to nurse my wounds enough to take him on: I have to. Will post on domestic violence thread in a min, in the hope I can give other women out there basic sound advice.

In the meantime, could some kind person tell me, Form A and/or Form A + a D11 re MPS?

Many thanks to all of you.

Feel a bit embarrassed re-reading. But I hope this post may have been of some use to some one else. Will now answer that poor new person with the one year old baby...name of OP I forget.

Thanks again. Hmm, am I going to be brave enough to click the send button? For all I know he might be in here, so I have to be so guarded as to what I say for fear of identification.

I need to get my D8 in pretty damn quickly - to those totally clueless, as the Petioner, you have more control and I know I will get great relief once I finaly get the strength and nerve to submit my D8 - court timetabled then, you see. Just trying to help, but this is best put on another post more relevant. This is about AR - or Financial Remedies, I think the term now is.... sorry, if in wrong place!

It has been very cathartic writing this, now do I delete or send? I can''t do anything until I know how to apply for MPS, and I am confident I will get it - I would remind you I obliged to be LIP, so go easy with me! Sorry if I have got a bit emotional and all that....

Thanks again. Now over to that poor woman with the baby...........

  • MmBr
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07 Aug 12 #347899 by MmBr
Reply from MmBr
I have had exact same problem. DV all of it.... You have my deepest sympathy.

Now.... Here is the answer short and sweet!

File divorce petition asap with Form A at same time. It is the only way to get the ball rolling quickly for MPS.
Use the fee remission system as you have no money. EX160A guidance notes
EX160 the form. You will need separate fee remission application for D8 and Form A.... This is for MPS.

You will need 3months bank statements and proof of income for the D8 divorce petition and the same for the form A. If you are on benefits ask the job centre or dwp to send you 2copies of proof of income. One for each application.

Easiest way go to your local county court and ask them for all the forms.
They will not tell you much but you will need to fill out 3 D8 forms and take them back to the Court. They should issue divorce petition very quickly.

Also look up on here anything and everything related to form D8and Form A.

Dont hold back in your divorce petition either about the financial abuse as this gives the Judge a fair idea of the type of person you have had to deal with. Do a separate for part statement as the box is far too small to get enough evidence in especially in DV cases.

Good luck and hope this helps.

MmBr x
Dont forget the freephone helpline on here, brilliant service.
Hope this helps to get you started.

  • MrsSadness
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07 Aug 12 #347955 by MrsSadness
Reply from MrsSadness
Many thanks: I so appreciate your reply....

  • amefbi
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07 Aug 12 #347963 by amefbi
Reply from amefbi
Sadness I think our husbands are related.:)I have been feeling too ashamed and sorry for myself, as nobody would believe me how unhuman and sly mine has been. I was always so confident and strong. But dealing with my sudden illness, since 2006, depression etc was bad. Only difference is that we are still living in same house. I have not contacted my family abroad and have no friends in UK, have not spoken to anybody of asked for help...but 4 weeks ago I got this site...and believe me, Im am stronger, have my confidence back, and so many people to support us along the way. Im also going to Petition, dont have income but will Selfrep.
Stay strong and dont worry, my questions has been weird and strange and all over the place.
And MmBr, thankyou for making this so clear and consice, I dont always understand all the terms and proceedings on the site. An this is truly valuable to me.

  • MrsSadness
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08 Aug 12 #348039 by MrsSadness
Reply from MrsSadness
Dear Amefbi -
well, thanks for your message. Seems we are in same boat in being obliged to self-rep! One thing I don''t understand about your case is that you''re status says you are the Respondent? If this is the case you can not become a Petitioner!!! Unless I have missed something! Anyway, best of luck with it. Sounds like you are having a hard time, so you have my deepest sympathy. I am going to start posting in the Self-Rep section from now on, so any of you out there, also going it alone, see you in there for mutual support!
And thanks again to mmbr for clarifying MPS issue. Bye

  • amefbi
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08 Aug 12 #348049 by amefbi
Reply from amefbi
Yes I have been the Respondant twice, sounds confusing and messed up just as my life has been. He filed for divorce in 2008, withdrew, when he had to fill in form E,and the costs. I had no income to support myself. Living in hell..I tried claiming E&A in 2010 but was denied (married and his income)did get DLA £298pm. Had to stay and cant move. In July 2012 (last month) received sols letter again he wants divorce. Thats when I found this site and am so grateful. He told me this week No he is not going to pay all this money for divorce, he will rather buy a Merc(car), will get his deposit back from sols on Friday. I said well I do want to divorce and will divorce him this time, and now Im going to Petition him. Confident that I have a strong case but he thinks he is above the Law.

  • DGD
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09 Aug 12 #348328 by DGD
Reply from DGD
Now you got me confused too.
I thought, according to the above mentioned article, what you need to apply for MPS is
D11, a draft order and a short sworn statement explaining why the order is necessary and giving the necessary information about means.

Is it Form A then? :huh:

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