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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


Scared- can I really self rep???

  • mbird
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23 Aug 12 #351352 by mbird
Topic started by mbird
Morning, really need so advice please guys n girls. I have spent nearly 12k in last year on this divorce. I have borrowed and now physically can''t keep bankrolling this any longer... I have fdr in 6 weeks. I have made several offers. FMH 45k equity in which stbx lives with 3 children, one who isn''t mine and is 18, the other two are mine-10 and 5. She gave up work just before AR started to obtain legal aid. Last year with all benefits work cm etc she netted 10 k more than me (prior to her leaving work now she is on income support). Married 7 years, separated nearly 3 years ago. I have polic pension. I can''t afford actuary report which apparently has to be done.
I can''t sleep, please can someone tell me what is a fair offer??? Can I offer 25% of pension without this report? She has asked for house transfer, all equity, sm, cm ( I have always paid this), 50% of my pension, and for me to put her back on my life insurance!!!
I live with my new partner, we have been together for 10 months. I can''t afford my solicitors bills anymore and think I am going to have to do this alone, I think with your help maybe I could??
Please please can someone help me with a reasonable offer. We r serving answersto questionnaire tomorrow. There are many asking for my new partners bank statements CETV etc which I have just put NA ( questionnaires weren''t agreed as FDA was adjourned by them as they were late with everything so we agree dates etc for questionnaires to be filed and served and just asked for ne t fdr date available).
I know this is a long post, but this isn''t life, I need some idea of another reasonable.
To put you more in the picture, my stbx only wants to drag this out to make my life hell- she is obsessive about my new partner and jealous- we had to apply for a nonmol also had to get contact order through court etc this last year has been a living hell and I just want it over.....
PLEASE HELP thank u for you time in reading this.

  • MrsMathsisfun
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23 Aug 12 #351359 by MrsMathsisfun
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I sure you have posted these details previously but how old are you both?

Can your ex maintain the current mortgage if the property was transferred to her?

If her income is greater than yours then you then I wouldnt think you would be expected to pay sm.


What was your ex earning potential before she stopped working? Did she contribute to a pension?


If its along way until retirement then I would think you should offer 50% of the 7 years you were together in the way of pension. (If that makes sense!) You could work that out as a percentage of the whole.

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23 Aug 12 #351366 by mbird
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Thank you. She is 37 and me 35, with her tax credit etc she takes home more than me. Update- due to stress and potential disclosure- my partner has asked me to move out......

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23 Aug 12 #351396 by MrsMathsisfun
Reply from MrsMathsisfun
Sorry about your current situation. As a partner of someone going through a divorce I can understand the stress your current partner is going through.

I would hate my partner ex to know things about my financial situation. I have worked hard to get where I am and the thought that she would gain more from my partner just because he meet me rather than someone without income made me very angry and so we didnt live together until after the finances were sorted.

That didnt stop her attempting to guilt my partner into giving her more because we might become a two income household. The ex is still with her bf and he lives with her but according to her the bf income wasn''t important, it was all about my income!!

My partner didnt give in refused to compromise any more and eventually it was sorted out without going to court. Although she will always be bitter and try her best to damage our relationship.

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23 Aug 12 #351398 by mbird
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Thank you, just feel like I can no longer go on

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23 Aug 12 #351399 by MrsMathsisfun
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I am sure she is just reacting to the situation.

Take a deep breath, You will come through this and eventually it will be all sorted and it will be just a blip in your life.

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23 Aug 12 #351403 by mbird
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I can''t see any light, it just seems to be getting progressively worse and no one seems to be able to help

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