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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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Scared- can I really self rep???

  • MrsMathsisfun
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23 Aug 12 #351407 by MrsMathsisfun
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I can see that, but you can get through this.

You can self rep. Just make sure you have all the figures you need.

Have you somewhere you can go until this is sorted? Is your new partner saying its over or just that she doesnt want you living there at the moment?

If you prefer private message me. I will try to help

  • happyagain
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23 Aug 12 #351425 by happyagain
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Mbird, your ex has no right to access your partners info. The only thing she needs to know is that your partner is covering 50% of the bills, and this should go on your form E. I was in a similar position 2 years ago, with my partners ex demanding details of my income and the equity in my home. I have a good job and lots of equity and was worried that this would affect my partners outcome. It was slightly unrealistic though as I was on maternity leave, on much reduced pay, and so sent a copy of my most recent payslip. I really wish now I''d stood firm and said no, but we were advised that the judge could order this info anyway, which would drag matters out. As it was though, the judge all but ignored my details as he stated they weren''t relevant to the division of marital assets.
For what it''s worth, your ex is being a cheeky one and there is no way she will get what she is asking for. It would be unlikely for her to get all the equity, let alone that plus sm, if she brings in more than you. You have made a very reasonable offer and I think the time will come when she wishes she''d accepted this. You can self rep, it''s much easier than you think. The nightmare will be over soon but I think her solicitors will be hoping you blink first as she really doesn''t stand a chance of getting all that she is demanding.

  • mbird
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23 Aug 12 #351435 by mbird
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I can''t thank you enough for your time in replying. I can''t think straight at the mo, all I feel I have left is this forum, am constantly reading for help and advice and don''t want to waste peoples time by posting. I am just at the lowest point ever.... I don''t know what to offer her to make her go away? Please help

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23 Aug 12 #351462 by happyagain
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Without seeing all the figures, and being generous to try and reach a deal, I would suggest the following.
House transferred into her name with a 25% charge to you of equity once the youngest is 18, or she cohabits or sells. 50% of pension accrued for the 4 years you lived as a married couple. Nominal sm at £1 per year until youngest is 18.
Her claim to any further pension or life insurance is ridiculous once you are divorced. However you might want to avoid this argument by making the kids the beneficiaries of at least part of any life insurance, that way you nullify an claim that the kids will be left in poverty if anything happened to you.
She will probably say no and try for more but recent experience of this, and the many reports I have read on here, would suggest that she is being unrealistic. By driving it to final hearing I think she will simply increase her costs, not come out with a better result.

  • mbird
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23 Aug 12 #351467 by mbird
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Thank you so much happyagain. Does this mean that I wouldn''t have TI have an actuary report done on my pension?? I simply can''t afford it.

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23 Aug 12 #351469 by happyagain
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Only a judge can insist on an actuary report being done, your ex or her solicitor cannot. I would take your chances and wait and see, if it gets to court, what the judge says. If the other side are insistent then I would request they pay half the costs.
I forgot to say, I would be making lots of noises about the fact that she has recently stopped working and keep this as a strong line of questioning - can your client explain why she has recently ceased working after continuing to do so effectively for 2 years post separation? Can your client confirm when she will be returning to work given the respective ages of the children? Can your client detail how she sees her work prospects progressing as the children require less attention?

  • minxy1912
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23 Aug 12 #351476 by minxy1912
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Hiya, i am going through the same and self representing, i have done it all along and Google my little heart out.lol....
One thing i have learnt is don''t panic. T take the good advice you have been given but if the judge says you are wrong,just apoligise and ask the judge to explain. You are not to know you are not a solicitor. You can actually get away with more playing the dumb card.
What in your heart do you think is fair? bearing in mind your kids are there?x

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