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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


Offer has been made n still FH

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14 Sep 12 #355804 by soulruler
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There is a poster on here today and I think his name is angryandconfused - something like that.

Anyway, he was forced out of the house by his wife on occupation order and non mol order and went living with his parents since 2010. He paid them rent, got off the council tax, then a while later his wife then moved out of the house and stopped paying any mortgage with no proof she was paying rent.

So the house was vacant for a long while and has been vandelised. More to it than that but these are our real lives, real debts, real needs for accommodation blar blar.

Keep focused, stay thinking and find that post.

The post is by annoyedandangry and entitled can anyone offer me some advice.

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14 Sep 12 #355847 by delta123
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Thank you for that insight another question since the court has confirmed that FH is going ahead too late for my ex to cancel n I believe I have complied with the FDR Directions by putting house on market the main assert what is the discussions going to be about then in 4 days ? Help anyone am really terrified at the moment but determined to get this done as I self rep

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14 Sep 12 #355849 by soulruler
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Why should you and your two eldest become homeless because a judge on the instructions of a lawyer insist that you vacate the FMH (keep paying the mortgage) leave the house open to vandelism or squatters?

I believe that an order stating that you vacate, pay two sets of mortgage and rent is basically abuse - remember the bank has an interest in all of this as well as you.

If I were in your situation I would ring the bank in the same way as angry did and take their view on a sale or repossession and whether they are happy for you to carry on paying the mortgage.

I do wonder sometimes what the courts think but more to the point what solicitors believe is going to happen as more families are evicted and go into debt (that does not in any way help the UK bank balance sheet).

I know you are frightened, believe me I know full well the fear induced by courts and the legal system. Right now however, you are fighting not only for your financial security, your older childrens financial security (knowing that your wife and two youngest are safely housed).

I see there are two ways forward, what ever I would not move out and point out why that is reckless for your wifes solicitors to suggest this to a judge.

You can agree to sell, they can award costs against you but in reality they cannot take them from your wages and they cannot get costs from a house that has not sold.

Really, in your position I would stay put - a sale could be years off and your older children may well need the security that a family home represents - that is a bit of a pet subject to me with so many of our youth unable to get on the housing market and rents being much higher than many mortgages.

Get busy right now with your schedules of incomings, outgoing, assets and liabilities. Be attentive and reasonable when in court but at the same time protect your basic needs which are to have a house, to repay your debts and to your children always.

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14 Sep 12 #355854 by delta123
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Thanks on the same point I have agreed in principle to do what the judge has directed what is the FH about then is It a money making FH
FH should end all financial dispute n am saying l have agreed to their monstrous demands so whats the FH going to do or solve it can''t b cancelled is that an excuse to penalise poor men to pay for this recession I wonder!!!!!!
if FH cost about £10000 why??? We hav four kids who hav never been on holiday n 10grand could do them a nice trip n I am complying I am moving out where is the waste of time here when there is 4 days to just call it off
please solicitors talk to me l know u r but what is the justification to destabilise the family as my ex is fairly settled now
anyone pliz I just need advise on what are the proceedings of FH going to be about when I Have raised my hands n surrendered will they b discussing u hav done it but too late u hav surrendered but too late type of thing????

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14 Sep 12 #355857 by soulruler
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Hi Delta

Take a deep breath. Actually you have not caved in to unreasonable demands - if you had you would have vacated the house within 6 weeks, carried on with the mortgage and got into rented.

Well done you for not caving in to monsterous and unreasonable demands and court orders.

Remember that posession is 9/10th of the law, you move out and your ex could move back in and still you would be jointly liable for the mortgage and you and the eldest two out on the streets.

Read back through this post as there are many good suggestions on here. You have major responsibilities now not only to yourself but also to all the 4 children in a long term marriage.

Your liabilities are huge, and I understand why you are so distressed. I will pm you it might help.

In the meantime, what I suggest is that you go to the chemist and get two things, a packet of Kalms and a small bottle of Bach remedy - neither are prescription drugs but they really do work, they have worked for me (Kalms take effect after about an hour and bach is an emergency rescue remedy).

You are suffering from anxiety and stress overload.

If you can stay focused you will be ok.

Take care, read this post through from start to end, take a deep, deep breath.

I have now given in to both anxiety and depression medication, only because without them both I could not cope.

I still do believe however that things will turn out right, please at this point in time remember that it is the person who first runs out of either steam or money (or maybe spite - I do not believe you fit into that catagory) that looses the stupid divorce war. Do not make it a war make it a contest of minds, a strength of good will and good faith and you will be alright.

Maybe right now you could clear you mind and either go out for a walk or have a glass (or two - not advocating it but I have surcumbed to it:) )

It sounds daft but remember Churchill (then it was a different and actual physical war - We will NEVER surrender).

Keep going Delta although you may not believe it right now you are doing very well and sticking up for what you know is right and decent.

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14 Sep 12 #355859 by delta123
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Thanks buddy it relieve pressure to hear such kind words from real human beings like yourself I guess I will b fine if u say so n I get on with life and take it as it comes thank u again

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14 Sep 12 #355863 by soulruler
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my pm to you is flashing on the top right hand of the wikivorce site. Just have a look and you might like to respond.

4 days and counting I think I can help.

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