I would be grateful for any help out there.
In April husband left out of blue for "6 months space "
In July demanded instant divorce on grounds of my unreasonable behaviour, I later found out that his elderly mother had died suddenly, who he had a very odd relationship,leaving behind a very difficult Father and a lot of guilt.
We have been to mediation assessment meeting where he lied to mediator about his employment status, we are going again in a couple of weeks to exchange financial forms.
He issued a horrific Petition, and following sensible ammendments by my solicitor, now wants to put in a stronger one than the first one !
The situation is rather complicated and wonder weather it would be best just to go to court.
Him 56, Me 53, married 35 years
He works in the city through a Ltd company ( which is him )and earns around 200K, pays himself 98K and puts rest in pension for tax reasons.
I have a bipolar illness and am ill health retired from NHS, get 6K pension and 6K in benefits, which I may loose as they are changing the system.
House ( no mortgage )worth around 500K
Savings around 300K
He has 4 pension pots which I do not know the value of.
He has spent a lifetime hiding money from tax man, and is now trying to do it to me, a forensic accountant has been suggested, but is very expensive and could produce other ramifications.
He is currently offering me 8K a year maintenance !
Can anyone suggest a fair settlement?
After a marriage this long with such an income discrepancy I would have thought you should be looking at:
at least 50% of the value of the home but probably more
at least 50% of the savings, but probably more
50% of his pension (so the fact that he has been putting his money into pensions might do you some good here) - that''s 50% of the total pension pot, not just of one pension or just of the period you were married.
plus spouse support. Given your state of health you might be able to get joint lives which means basically that he has to pay it until one of you dies.
Alternatively he could go for a Clean Break (ie. no spouse support) but he would have to give you a lot more than the above to get it - you might want to go for all the family home, half the savings plus the 50% pension share as the price for not supporting you for the rest of your days.
You need a good solicitor. If you can''t get legal aid then as a start I would file for maintenance pending suit, which is interim maintenance to give you enough to live on (and pay your lawyer) while you sort out the finances. I would also get a move on about doing that before he hides any more.
Many thanks for your response.
In many ways like idea of a clean break, if it means I can keep my home, I have lived here 27 years and my son was born in the house.
It is in a small village of 1500 people, I am involved in everything, know everyone and if I am not well people understand , but it is a period property with large garden, which equates to high maintenance costs.
I saw my Psych today who is going to write a report about specific needs related to my mental health, including need to stay in this house.
Does anyone out there know if the courts pay any attention to specific needs of people with mental health problems, and in particular Bipolar, and what format of medical report is the most effective.
With regard to MPS, I have mentioned it to my solicitor, but as he keeps changing the Petition to be nastier and nastier, and bearing no relation to reality, I don t think that form A can go in until petition has been filed, I have prepared some draft numbers that I know he will not be happy with.
A question though, how experienced is your solicitor?, has s/he dealt with cases like yours before,
Court do consider the health of both parties but to be clear court consider the medical evidence of an independent expert much more than say your GP.
What does concern me is that your solicitor has not suggested a barrister write a report following disclosure, perhaps s/he awaits this, it is worth raising with your solicitor though, this is not a low value case, income is high and the chances are his pensions will have a considerable value given the high pension contributions.
If I were you I would check out the experience of your solicitor, in a case like yours you need the best help you can get.
I get the impression that you are in the business, obviously none of my business.
Me and Solicitors don t get on too well. I know most of Solicitors socially in town, hence a number of problems with vested interest.
Also see my post about rip off solicitors.
I have decided in court proceeding shall do LIP. to save money. and actually I am only person
that is able to explain complications of situation, I have a nice black suit I bougght from Harrods @ Millium to wear for her funeral.
Let me assure you I am not a lawyer and have no vested interest in if you do or do not consider anything I say, I and so many others are just here to help and with luck help others avoid the many pitfalls that exist.
I have read your other posts, what concerns me is an obvious lack of trust with your lawyers and now your thinking well ill go this alone, but this is a big deal as it were, much is at stake, I am no fan of paying lawyers, but and it''s a huge but paying for professional assistance can actually be very beneficial in the long term, to add when I say I. Am not keen on paying lawyers it''s fair to add I''m as tight as a drum, so I don''t like to pay out for out as my old granddad would say.
This is quite a high value case so think carefully, a good lawyer is worth their weight in gold, and that can be literal, I suppose what I was saying is be careful who you ask to represent you and look after your future.
can I ask saddie if she meant 50% of pensions as of point of now or at the time of separation, I am LIP and I was told during the opening submission at the start of my FH that only pension value accrued over marriage will be taken into account, I am disheartened and although the pension pot has increased the value of the property decreased they only want me to share the loss but not the gain, i think the system is utterly unfair why they don''t have a fix formula to sort the mess particularly women suffer because they give up good careers to bring the kids. I had a horrible day and by the way this is the 9th session in the FH, I feel demented I was hoping to be the last but it is not, I am in this mess for six years. please help i need to write a legal summation to argue I should get pension till point of now. Thank