I have finally handed in to my solicitor D8, D8A and Form ?? I am concerned about form E and SM.
I was the high earner although my Ex can earn as much as me through his agency work, which I am sure he does now (before he didn’t need to work as many hours as I gave him monies). I earn about 44K – £2’512 a month in the bank and him about £450 or more a week, sometimes as much as £630.
I was left with all the debts including a 17K plus interest loan (car, holiday, clear 4K of his debt) we agreed on 3 months before his affair. I pay 1K a month in debt, 1.2K a month in child care. I receive 9K a year in child care/tax credits. He pays £45PW in CSA.
Me and the 2 children are left with between £40 and £100 a week for groceries, nappies, extra childcare, fuel and anything else needed like nursery trips we survive but it’s painful. My debt is 26K and his about 8K. I have to pay extra childcare as I am in the Army and work 55 hours a week routine but have a number of other duties to fulfil which sometimes includes nights, weekends and even weeks. My ex refuses to care for the children at these times and over the last year has let me down 15 times and sometimes I have had to pay for emergency child care.
The house is in his name although I have paid the mortgage for the last 4 years and he has offered me nothing of the rental income or declared this to the CSA. He has not offered a bean towards any off the debts. As an agency driver he is paid through an umbrella company and did not declare his expenses to the CSA, sometimes as mush a £200 PW for stuff not required to keep a business a float (CSA guidelines). He wouldn’t even have receipts for laundry, meals etc. I paid off his pre marital debt (I have proof) and paid towards his AXA policy due to mature in 2015 – 10K approx.
The bottom line is I don’t know how much longer I can survive as a single mum in the Army and that would mean I wouldn’t see my pension till 65, I wouldn’t have a house as I can’t afford to save for a deposit of which these days I would need at least 25K for a half decent house. I earn well and me and the children just don’t see the fruits of my hard work yet he is now living with mistress and her horses and earning a decent wedge without a backward glance at how we are coping.
I have had to use my credit card over the year to help us out with normal day to day life, I asked the loan company for changes but they said it would affect my credit rating for 6 years, not good when I need to buy a house at some point. I do pay a hefty amount of my credit card a month but if I don’t it will be hanging over our heads forever instead of saving and paying towards a mortgage.
I am not too worried about my pension, we were only married for 4 years and he has his own small pension and is only 39, whilst I will still have the children (1 & 4) to care for when I receive my Army pension in 5 years if I can make it that long and it may be all we have to live on.
Considering the circumstances and debts would I still be able to apply for an interim order and considering my wage would he still be seen as morally wrong and be asked to pay his share. Even if it’s bad news I need to feel the likely outcome.
No we don''t speak at all, considering the way he treated me when I found out about the affair and a 12 year old daughter I knew nothing off (he had an affair with her 12 years ago whilst married to his ex wife. But I have put that on the D8 and D8A, I have proof through letters, solicitors etc that I have done everything I possibly can to facilitate contact and he just uses it to disrupt my professional and personal life.
Many thanks for replying and I guess it sounds simple but depends on what free cash he has, I am only using a solicitor for advice but hopefully the fact he is now living with the woman may mean he has more free cash.
We have experienced peeps who can relate to your situation and we have some members who are Solicitors who offer their advice free here.
Don''t feel like you''re alone - you always have folk here, you''re in a tough situation - emotionally, financially - everything. But don''t get trampled with the ''whole'' take baby steps and you''ll get there.
Many of us have been where you are and can give you the support you need to make it through.