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not your usual straight forward divide of assets

  • father of 2
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16 Jan 18 #498821 by father of 2
Topic started by father of 2
Good morning and thank you for your time,

Looking for advice on where I stand with my current situation,

My ex-wife and I split up April 2016 which resulted in me leaving the shared marital property ( joint mortgage )to go into short term rented accommodation to make things easier for our 2 children ( current ages Son 15 yrs / Daughter 9 yrs ) and give my ex-wife space to sort things out and give her time to think about her decision.

I tried to return to the marital property a few weeks later only to find the locks have been changed without my consent, I gained access by my daughter letting me in but then the police were called as I was told to leave our family home ( no violence or threats were present ).

To keep the peace and ease the situation I agreed to leave the family home, but then my son walked out with me and is still currently living with me and unfortunately has not seen or wants to see his mom again.

The divorce continued to go ahead and finalising in October 2016 half way through a mediation process to sort out finances,

I still constantly see my daughter and have her stay over with me most weekends but my son still refuses to see his mom,

My ex-wife stopped mediation as she didn’t like the way it was going which then stalled the financial process but divorce was still finalised ,

Last month I revisited mediation with an invite going out to the kid’s mom but she didn’t respond and let that opportunity go by,

The case is now closed and I now have the paperwork to start court proceedings to settle financial divide between us,

My situation now,

I have a full time job now after having to dissolve my business due to the situation of my son living with me full time and having my daughter weekends (my business was 7 days a week).
My ex-wife now works 3 part time jobs and also helps out with an additional cash in hand payment, she is managing to support the family home without any financial help from myself (her choice).

With the family home being a 3 bedroom house and my ex-wife only needing 2 bedroom I’m looking at proposing to buy her out and offer her half the equity plus the family car in return for the property to be signed over to me which allows my children to still be in the family home and a firm settlement from which I can re-build a future for myself and my kids,

I just need to know if I stand a chance of getting this outcome or am I being too hopeful that I need a three bedroom house and the ex-wife only needs a two bedroom?

My biggest fear would be I have to wait till my daughter is 18 before the house can be settled which also puts a hold on my family life for a further 9 years and my sons’ future and relationship with his sister,

Please let me know if you can help in any way or give me any information or points to consider when applying to the court.

  • polar
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17 Jan 18 #498843 by polar
Reply from polar
One of the old sayings is its not ver until the fat lady sings'

You say that your x can handle the FMH without help from you. Does she pay the mortgage if there is one ?

The fact that she pays you means that she is better off than you (maybe).

If you look at current housing regulations as you say both of you are entitled to 2 bedrooms but in fact a living room can be classed as a bedroom.

For whatever reason your son has taken your side. You have to look carefully at this as there has to be a reason. Is your x just being a good mother and not allowing him to do as he wants (bloody teenagers !!!) or is there another reason ie she has someone else. If he can swop sides that could easily reverse.

I think much may depend upon whether your x is willing to leave the FMH and can put a good argument forward ie near schools.

One worry I would have if I were you is your x;s work. 3 part time jobs. Jobs are not secure or she might decide that she needs to work less and then your cash in hand stops and you have to give money for your daughter.

Just thoughts I'm afraid but the fact that your x stopped mediation might count in your favour.

I had a friend in your situation years ago. He got on with his life and rebuilt but when his eldest was 18 he made his x sell the house and effectively got a windfall.

  • father of 2
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18 Jan 18 #498862 by father of 2
Reply from father of 2
Thank you for your response,

my ex has/had a drink problem and when i moved out my son became the next line of fire.

i dont know if she has the problem still and my daughter tells me she is happy living at her moms ( so until she has an issue with her mom i will then step in (( let sleeping dogs lye )).

my son will never change his mind and said he will live with my parents before ever thinking of living with his mom.

my ex only needs a 2 bed house due to only having just my daughter, but i have both my son and my daughter and they need seperate bedroom ( age/sex related ).

my biggest problem is i have about £30,000 share in the house (equity) ... and we need that to move on in life and to put an end to the financial tie.

she does pay the full mortgage as ive been locked out illegally and she refuses to accept payment to the house ( stubborn ).

thanks for your interest

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