There is a saying... life's hard then you die
This is divorcing the unreasonable.
Good news is he has made a poor offer.
I am accepting. After two years of separation following his abusive outbursts when I had no choice but to run.
I am now accepting less than a third of marital pot.
Defeated but at least can now move on with a clear conscience and live a happy life as a single with children FOREVER.
I know it can be galling to agree to less than what you feel is your due. I did the same. (I daresay our partners thought so too, but in some cases settlements do clearly favour one or the other on the face of it.)
But it was that or go on fighting and I couldn't take it. Yes, my ex was a bully and a liar who had all the cards: he knew where the money was; he earnt it and he spent it and he hid it. He was an international banker and I was a stay at home mum and traumatised and I was no match for him on paper or in court.
So he won the settlement. And he won in other ways, too, one could say. WIne, women and song.
But I won my freedom. Cheap at the price.
I sometimes get pangs when I hear about his new life, not because I want him back but because it seems unfair that he has lots of trappings like a cleaner that I cannot afford.
Thanks you two.
All I ever needed was enough for a house for myself and children. This is all I have ever asked for. The difficulty was he thinks I was just a lodger for 20 years, cleaner, free worker, a body to use, not a wife and mother to his children, and therefore move out and have nothing.
I have a final hearing date now, so if he backs out of his poor offer (His head is warped so may well do and he drags everything out as long as possible in the hope I run out of money) I will then go to the final hearing and expect to receive 50% if not more
I gave up my career when our daughter was born and moved around the country to support his career and raise our family. His career is now doing very nicely!
But instead of being the supportive wife, he now considers that I have been 'sponging' off him (how convenient)
When we first split, it was quite amicable. Now however he's making it crystal clear that he doesn't give a hoot about me, and believes that he should eat in fancy restaurants and holiday 3 or 4 times a year, whilst I scrape by eating beans on toast (yes, he even gave me a lecture on how pasta, baked beans and potatoes most nights would cut my food bills)
It makes your blood boil doesn't it? - But you're doing the right thing by only focussing on what you need to ensure your's and your children's happiness. All the money in the world can't buy that. - And the sooner this is all over, a happier mum you will be.
i still don't understand how a person could change so much, and become so evil when they hadn't been before, but I have worked out I don't need to understand now, it's not my problem any more.
His new horse features girlfriend can deal with it instead. I noticed he has already built her stabling in the back garden