1 week 3 days ago - 1 week 3 days ago#515867by adrianaron
Topic posted by adrianaron
Can you peeps can contribute and help me with my dilemma.
I have a bitter div and any kind of dealings are off the able. I have accusations and letters flying from left and right as ex doesn't have to pay for legal [but private] help - trough connections.
I have slight distrust to my solicitor at the moment as his soft approach and not reacting to my ex bad behaviour escalated that behaviour into much worse despite my warning that I can see it happening.
I have completed parts of form 4.3 / 4.4 / 4.5 and put plenty into it, some of it irrelevant - but I assumed solicitor needs to know it, in case it is important. But then some of the parts I have concluded ARE important and yet were removed. I finished soft approach and want everything of importance to be in document.
Most important examples:
4.3 Contributions to family property, life, welfare,
-For couple of years cared during cancer recovery [hospital mid night emergency visits, appointments]
-Helped with morphine [as painkiller] addiction
-Cared trough disability period documented in DWP forms [after cancer recovery: bathing, cooking etc.]
-Encouraged to undertake education, which is now in last few weeks [NHS guaranteed employment]
4.4 Bad behaviour
-After moving out - taking items from home, taking some leftover cash from within my belongings [although not reported as for the solicitor advice - although paper trail exist].
-Secretly sending regular cash to family
4.5 Other circumstances that can affect the extent of provisions
-soon she'll be regular NHS employee with skilled job + easy route to improve it
-we had agreement that she will get my support to finish Uni and then I will do Uni to up my skills as I very much need it as well, but now won't be able afford it
-my job is not super stable - had been on reduced pay and also furlough
All this was removed from my first E-form [yet to be submitted]. Was there any reason to remove this all, should I let him do it?
One thing it was removed from my statement - and if even there is no much benefit to it - I expect similar [or rather exaggerated] claims from ex.
I'm afraid that if I will try to add it in another statement it will loose its credibility.
Are you in the court process or are you exchanging forms E on a voluntary basis?
It is important to remember that financial settlement on divorce boils down to the assets and incomes you have, your respective needs and how they can be met. Conduct is rarely considered ahead of needs - it has to be pretty extreme and have a serious financial impact for it to be a factor.
Bringing in lots of stuff that won't be relevant raises the temperature, makes it harder to settle and causes legal costs to soar.
Your solicitor sounds like they are taking a sensible approach.
1 week 1 day ago - 1 week 1 day ago#515891by adrianaron
Reply from adrianaron
Thanks for reply Hadenoughnow.
It is voluntary.
I understand that I should try to leave the heat away and for couple of months I already did. It backfired in a way I don't even write here. Ex simply doesn't want to settle the easy way.
Assuming that I will continue easy way, is there any danger if she will put plenty of lies on her e-form. that it will backfire again?
PS saying all that, what if I don't put there stuff about my EX but about agreements and my contributions.
Last edit: 1 week 1 day ago by adrianaron. Reason: correction
1 week 1 day ago - 1 week 16 hours ago#515895by hadenoughnow
Reply from hadenoughnow
If your ex is not going to settle then you may have to consider an application to court. Otherwise you can end up spending a great deal of money on letters back and forth and still end up with a court application.
They will then be answerable to the court and not you. The only thing that really matters is the numbers.
The first consideration for financial settlement is needs. Contributions are usually considered as equal. Significant capital contributions will only be considered if there are more than enough funds for needs to be met.