So, my story goes... have recently split after a heart wrenching decision to ask him to leave. Breaking point came after he'd been on long term sick while I was off on maternity and then he got made redundant, so spending even more time sat at home making a mess!
He still hasn't got a job and doesn't seem to feel any guilt about not paying any support for his two children (2 and 4).
However, have gone to mediation and due to my guilt, I've agreed to pay him over the odds as a settlement so that he's got a deposit to set himself up with a house when he gets a job.
And here's the problem. As soon as I sign an agreement and give him the money, he won't get any benefit and will have to start erroding the lump sum I'm paying him (for goodness knows how long as there's no sign of a job!).
I've suggested he put the agreed amount as an attatchment on the house so that he'd be guarenteed to get it when I sold up, but that I would pay up earlier if he needed it as a deposit.
Has anybody got any ideas? His solicitor doesn't want to discuss anything in this vein as it's "defrauding" the system.
Under NO circumstances let money change hands before the FH unless its agreed IN COURT before hand, The sols handed over the money to my X as she siad she neeeded it and wanted to get away from the area, OK I thought so agreed, everything was signed for with soliciters and the money handed over, yes X disapeared then we couldnt get to court as X never turned up did a dissapearing trick, then 3 years later I get another letter from my sol that X wants to go to court insisting that the she wasnt able to make a correct decision due to her addiction/depression and wants more money, X blew high5 fig sum and never reported it to DHS. IM in my 8th year of divorce now because X only does as things when able to cope ie stay sober.
IM sure that your stbX if he is of the no pay mode now isnt going to be of the pay up later frame of mind either. My X also agreed to have money out of the system so she could get benfits, got cash in hand also, not counting the HIGH debt left behind, now denies this happend even tho my sols have signatures of son and daughter witnessing the cash, X is saying that they are lieing they caused the divorce and wants them in court, denies working even tho I have proof from the places X worked that she was able and doing it.
I should be of the frame of mind that the system has been denied me as I dont get any kind of benefit what so ever including medication, Im out of work now, have a heart problem, had a stroke, try to survive on whats left, things are not looking great for me when I retire Im living on £175 a month after the mortgage has been paid incapacity benefit dont make me laugh, I show a country that doesnt give a poop for savers. So No do not give money to stbx it is defrauding the system and if I was to know I would report it. I hate to think that I have paid my dues and dont get a kin penny back while all these riggin outsiders come in and get the benfits Ive paid for free and free loaders just sit in the sysytem doing jack poop Like my X. But there again they now have all letters relating to all transactions Ive reported it all, wont get to know the outcome but what the hell.
IM sorry Ive rambled on and gone off track thats because its bloody cold out there and in my house as I cant afford to keep heating on temp gage in my house right now shows 3C. oh yes IM a bit of a free loader, to many people round here got un protected wirless systems so getting onto the internet is easy, I dont down load much only when looking for info most of the time I spend in library on the net its warmer for a start So no keep above board it may come back to to bite your bum in a big way, if found out they will bring you into also, and ******X may come back for more*****