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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

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Ex Claiming maybe fraud!

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24 Oct 10 #230928 by gemfreak07
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Cavalino,

Why oh why oh why are you spending your time 'doing the math'? Why does it bother you so much what your ex is doing with her income? Makes me wonder just who is the sad one. I can fully appreciate that you feel somewhat bitter and more than a little twisted and not knowing both sides am loath to judge.
But by posting this rant i can see that it has put many peoples backs up. Some of us are indeed 'sad' others are 'women' and many of us have been 'done over' ourselves by our collective exes. Others through no fault of our own have found ourselves at the mercy of the 'benefits system' - i am one of the above myself and take exception to being called a 'sponger'.
So whilst i understand your anger, a little bit of tact and diplomacy goes a long way.
Cavalino, i also happen to agree with my fellow wikis - that it is time that you let sleeping dogs lie for your childrens sake. Stop obsessing and make yourself a new life, there is a whole world out there get out there and grab some, put it all behind you and move on, you never know you might find it in you to forgive. It makes you the better person.

Gem x

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25 Oct 10 #230981 by cavalino
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No one on here knows me or the full details of what my situation is,i dont think im a bad person,been told im not just hard working and honest and i love my kids,why is it me then that is constantly punished by my ex with nasty revenge attacks and when i vent my anger on here im the one that gets it from all on here.:(

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25 Oct 10 #230987 by gemfreak07
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Good morning Cavalino,
No-one thinks you're a' bad person but you're angry which is understandable given the circumstances. I can appreciate that when u look at your ex's lifestyle your blood quite literally boils - you will find that many wiki peeps echo that sentiment!
Yes - we don't know you and we are not in receipt of the facts. But wiki is a place where all us 'raw and hurting' walking wounded can come for friendship and support.
[img] [img]

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25 Oct 10 #230998 by hawaythelads
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Cavalino,
The responses you have had are constructive criticism.
Smokescreen of I'm concerned about the tax payer was so transparent.
subsequently you have now admitted it is totally to do with you grassing her up as payback for the sxxt she has done to you.
Everyone on here has been to this movies we've seen the film read the book bought the t shirt.
Everyones not having a go at you they are telling you honestly that your actions are motivated by bitterness.Best to try and address dealing with that and finding a coping mechanism for your hurt that manifests itself as obsessing about getting even with her.
Your initial denial that this was for the taxpayer and not revenge to this audience who have all been through divorce was like an alcoholic walking into an AA meeting drunk out of his nut and saying I'm not drunk,I have a speech and balance impediment.
If you want to grass your ex up as payback do it,but don't expect anyone to be saying well done because the fact is you have got a disabled kid.So you're trying to get her done on a technicality.
I fecking hate my ex misus end of she's a theiving cheating xxxxx in my eyes.
Stick that in your head and then forget about her and get on with the rest of your life as amicably as you can, in the end you have a better life for it because you don't do your head in a state of permanent angst thinking about what they have done to you or plotting your payback.
Let it go!!!
All the best
Pete

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25 Oct 10 #231014 by gemfreak07
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Cavalino,
My last post was cut short, accidently submitted before i'd finished writing :blink:.
What i was trying to say was exactly what Haway was, only with a softer take (Pete tells it like it is, and is always on the mark). I was trying to be a bit more delicate (womens touch) lol. Anyway i am in total agreement with him.
As you have gathered by your responses to your post, your wiki friends have little or no sympathy with what you are planning to do. Of course this is your choice and yes you may feel justified in doing it, but it will come back to bite you in the proverbial!
Also just a small point, put just a little thought into how you word your posts, try a little tact and diplomacy it goes a long way. Perhaps then the people from whom you seek support will rally round like you obviously want them too. I wish you well, and i dont think you're a bad person, just somewhat misguided. Dont let all this cloud you're vision - keep your eyes on the horizon and you will see your way clearer,
Take Care
Gem x

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26 Oct 10 #231255 by cavalino
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Ok, firstly i know there are a lot of people who claim benefits and deserve them i have no problem with that but there are equely many who dont and every one knows they do exist,and why does everyone thats posted think im talking about them personaly ???im no angel who is, but i hate people that lie to gain financialy,every one on here keeps telling me "dont go there,leave well alone" WHY ??
I probably will but why should i just sit back and let the ex claim to better herself and not use the money for the purpose intended. She has managed to wangle a benefit for having our son home for the weekend to pay for a carer and hey presto she doesnt have him but still gets the money,is that ok then ?i ask,maybe i should claim that one to.As stated she gets high rate D.L.A for our son both components but never bothers to use the money for him or his benefit as he is in a full time residential school for special needs.WHY should she get it ??All right then maybe i should try for that one to.Oh and by the way i am in a loving relationship and live a happy life before i get branded the bitter sour one.
Just need some answers,why so WRONG and Dangerous to find out IF she is entitled??

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26 Oct 10 #231266 by gemfreak07
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cavalino wrote:

Ok, firstly i know there are a lot of people who claim benefits and deserve them i have no problem with that but there are equely many who dont and every one knows they do exist,and why does everyone thats posted think im talking about them personaly ???im no angel who is, but i hate people that lie to gain financialy,every one on here keeps telling me "dont go there,leave well alone" WHY ??
I probably will but why should i just sit back and let the ex claim to better herself and not use the money for the purpose intended. She has managed to wangle a benefit for having our son home for the weekend to pay for a carer and hey presto she doesnt have him but still gets the money,is that ok then ?i ask,maybe i should claim that one to.As stated she gets high rate D.L.A for our son both components but never bothers to use the money for him or his benefit as he is in a full time residential school for special needs.WHY should she get it ??All right then maybe i should try for that one to.Oh and by the way i am in a loving relationship and live a happy life before i get branded the bitter sour one.
Just need some answers,why so WRONG and Dangerous to find out IF she is entitled??



Cavalino,
I get where you're coming from, not saying it is wrong or dangerous to find out IF she's entitled. Just seems to me a total waste of time and energy. If she is wrongfully in receipt of these benefits she will eventually be found out and will be made to pay them back.
What i would like to say is this - you say that you are in a loving relationship and living a happy life. How does your new partner feel about all this. I know that if i was in her position i would be feeling pretty miffed and neglected.
In my opinion (and this is just my opinion) my advice is to let sleeping dogs lie - if your ex found out that you grassed her up your life would probably be hell. It is not worth all the hassle, you would be better off burning off all excess energy by channelling it into your new relationship and concentrating on your future. Remember, what goes around comes around.
I wish you all the best
Gem x

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