This is my first msg here.
I am going to divorce my husband of 25 years for adultery,although unreasonable behaviour would suit him better...a year ago he was made redundant with a healthy redundancy package of an unknown amount.He booked numerous holidays,bought cars,rented an office etc etc.Then suddenly when I had time off I realised hed run out of money,then to my horror found hes missed 3 mortgage payments-without a word to anyone.It is the last straw after bad money managemnt for years.
I have spoken to the mortgage company-we owe £250,000
mortgage,£10,300 in arrears,he has a £6,000 overdraft in an account with my name on it (which I had frozen yesterday to stop charges).Consequently I have had no option but to put the house on the market today-it has been valued at £350,000-fingers crossed!!! There is also a secured loan with approx £17,000 to pay.
When the house is sold we will separate obviously but I am unable to afford a flat big enough in this area to have my 16 year old with me-my 20 and 22 year old will have to fend for themselves now.So I will have to stay at my Mums for a short time until I catch my breathe- this will mean an hours journey to work to keep my present job as a nurse.
In the last 9 months I have had a suicidal teenager,my Dad die and now this- I tell you this to explain why an intelligent woman can have not noticed this coming.
After the house sale my husband says he wants a quickie online divorce and that we will split any money over from the sale 50-50.Because he is unemployed and signing on he has threatened to come after my pension too.
Where do I stand financially?? I hav enot contacted a solicitor because of lack of money and CAB is short staffed because of training so cant get an appointment yet.
Any comments about this soap drama I call my life??
And is the a future home waiting for me with no money??
you can get a free 30 mins of advice with a sol at first go prepaired with questions find out what winning cases they have had if you can and want to use one.
There are on line divorces you can get that are cheaper than sols. if you get the forms you can come here and we can all help you fill in where you are struggling. weve had some very good wins from people here who have self repped. also make note of threats from X all is helpfull to you in case.
Find proof of all his spending where you can, show that the debt is nothing you have used that way it may not a matrimonial debt ie all debts shared equalcant see your sharte being 50/50 your looking at more like min of 60/40 to you he will have to pay for son till 18/19 in education and maintenance for you possibly, if he leaves then your entitled to stay at house for the kids not much he can do about it, DO NOT LET ANY MONEY CHANGE HANDS TILL THE FH. Sounds lke X to be is going to be a right pain so be prepared for more pains just keep a note of everything that happens where, when time.
Have a look in resources for forms and also if you go to the courts they can give you the relevent info you require, divorces are not always quick most would be about a year or more, the soliciter you get to sell house may be able to hold monies till after divorce settlement youl have to discuss that with one. unless some here can advise you.
Thank you so much for that advice-sorry to be dense but what is FH you refer to.
Yes X wants online divorce but concerned this reduces my financial help???
I have downloaded the forms you mentioned.
There are only two local solicitors listed,rang one and they charge £100 for half an hour or if I can get to local library they do a 15 minute freebie.
Im so impressed with this site-it could save my sanity!!
Thank you again
there is no quick fix think stbx (soon to be X) may be trying to bully you to do things, as I siad minimum is usualy a year. look also at these people they are cheaper than any sol and give good advice that is recognised by courts, they will see you both and guide you to the correct way of how you should do things take their advice or if stbx is being a pain then seek legal help only when you need a document checking. www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk/index.php
Oh FH final hearing
Don't go for an online divorce and don't sell the house yet if you can help it. You need to get some legal advice even if only a £100 half hour. I am sure you are entitled to more than 50% and you would have a good argument for the right to stay in the family home if selling it can be avoided (can you change the mortgage to interest only for a while, for example?), given that your suicidal teenager will need stability through all this.