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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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Partner lost job prior to final hearing

  • sicofit
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14 Apr 08 #19493 by sicofit
Topic started by sicofit
My partner has lost his job, just prior to the final hearing of the FDR.
The finances has been dragged out over two years by his ex refusing to send back paper work, refusing to agree on a reasonable settlement,she wanted 250k cash lump sum (which we don't have and our home is not even worth that) plus 800 pcm Spousal plus 400 cm pcm along with a 70/30 split of his pension PLUS she wanted my wage taking in to account on top of everything else so that she could have more money.
My partner was on 35k a year before tax etc and she basically wanted his entire wage every month as she felt he didn't need it because I am earning (a lot less than him I hasten to add)
However since then he has lost his job (through no fault of his own) so the CM he was paying has had to stop for now until he finds another job. The worry is she will try and get the hearing adjourned yet again..4th time and I have no doubt she will claim he purposely lost his job so that he doesn't have to pay her.. which is definitely not the case

I am now worried that she will expect me to pay her instead of him.. the way the courts are I am scared that they will allow it and will drag me in to this. She has already threatened to take me to court to disclose my income as I have refused stating only what I pay towards the house hold bills mortgage etc.... can she do this legally? can I be forced to pay for his kids as I am supporting him financially

  • timberwolf
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14 Apr 08 #19494 by timberwolf
Reply from timberwolf
Hi
Sorry to jump on your post but this sounds all to familiar - apart from the job bit as he is self employed.

I have had to declare my earnings, and debts, as his wife ( in the process of divorce) is under the impression i have money and assets! couldnt be futher than thr truth, more like 36k in debt because of this whole thing. He asked for my salary to be excluded but was told no. She too wants everything, both my partner and i walked away from our marriages with nothing bar clothes, a year and half down the road he is still paying everything to her, whilst i try and support us hence the debt. she too delays the court process, but i was under the impression the courts can force her to accept a settlement - could be wrong though.

im sure someone on here will be able to advise you.. hang in there...

  • Ephelia
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14 Apr 08 #19497 by Ephelia
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I'm in the same boat.

My partners stbx wants all the equity in his house, half his pension AND half of his half of our flat - despite ALL the equity in it being mine (his all being tied up in his FMH). I can't believe this is fair and our solicitor has said he thinks he'll be able to argue against her having any of our new flat but can't guarantee it.

I too am building up debt trying to help support us both. I'd like to know if the debt I'm building up as a result of her refusal to even discuss issues will really be included in the marital debt? I doubt it....

Sorry about the rant, but I get so frustrated; I just wanted to send you my best wishes and I was going to suggest that it might be wise if you got some legal advice for yourself, independent of your partner. Maybe a free half hour with a solicitor at least to find out if you need to take on a solicitor to protect yourself.

  • Sera
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14 Apr 08 #19506 by Sera
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It doesn't matter what an ex demands / wants. The Courts work to the principle of need and fact.

Your partners ex will get what she deserves from the 'pot' of their marriage.

Regarding the claims for support from you (for their kids)... I know a lot of friends who have married men with embittered ex's, and their income may be taken into account if the man cannot pay for child support. So technically this can happen.

regardless of why he lost his job, (surely he could prove this if needed, redundancy etc) the court would look at his ability to work, and assume he'll get a new job?

The sad truth is, if you've gone forward with a partner who is not yet had a 'Clean Break' from a previous marriage, you allow yourself to be vulnerable to his/their financial disputes.

Try not to loose sleep over her demands.

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14 Apr 08 #19514 by Ephelia
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That's easier said than done Sera!

I don't think we're arguing our partner's ex's should be deprived of anything from the marital pot that they're entitled to; I just object to my money becoming part of someone else's pot.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing but not of great practical value.... a visit to a solicitor, however, is still, in my opinion, good advice.

  • Fiona
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14 Apr 08 #19533 by Fiona
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The important thing to remember is just because the other party wants something it doesn't mean they will actually get it. Also spouses, not their new partners, have financial responsibilities towards each other and the new partner's resources are only taken into account because they contribute to costs of living and therefore the needs of their partner might be reduced.

Not co-opertating with disclosure isn't helpful (sorry, double negative) - it prolongs matters and therefore can cost even more money. No one is saying it's easy but what is useful is standing back a bit and allowing/encouraging your partners to deal with the finances in a neutral and business like manner. This is precisely the time they need to get a grip - it's just a matter of numbers,. Letting emotions get in the way hurts the wallet!

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15 Apr 08 #19605 by sicofit
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I am not saying she shouldn't be or isn't entitled to anything, I am a firm believer that men should pay for their kids regardless. She has been offered the entire joint savings of 10k plus 400CM pcm for kids, we have bought her a car 10k and paid off 2ks worth of her debit...the FMH was rented so there is no equity.. he paid her CM of 400pcm up until he lost his job and as soon as he gets another job he will start paying her CM again..

Up to now I believe what she has been offered and what she has already had is quite fair, but she has refused point blank we have to agree to what she wants or nothing at all

Just a note here SHE left him, not other way round (we got together well after their split..) He was granted a divorce on the grounds of her unreasonable behaviour, they were married 4 years, its taken another 4 years to get to the final financial hearing and has cost us nearly 30k in legal fees, this includes access hearings for kids whom he has not seen for nearly 4 years because until he coughs up 250k cash she won't let him see his kids..

Where is the justice in this world??

I will be seeking legal advice as suggested by Ephilia as I cannot see how I can pay for kids which are not mine and also pay for my own two kids plus my own bills mortgage etc.. so basically I am being punished for being with (not married too) a man who has been married before..???

Fiona, sorry I think slight misunderstanding, I have not refused all details, they have been given what the law states they are entitled too. That is exactly what I pay out every month.. she asked from everything from my pension value to whether or not I was due inheritance from my parents and what I expect it to be.. answering her form E was like being burgled!

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