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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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  • MDCM
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22 Jun 12 #338478 by MDCM
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When myself and stbex parted 18 months ago, he took all the credit cards and loans in his name with him. I kept mine. So we both assumed responsibility of the ones in ouR own names.

Total owed was pretty much equal.

My parents, in order to help me out, gave me a loan to cover mine after a while, so i could get somewhere in paying them off and not be crippled by the monthly interest.

Now we did it all properly. We have a written loan agreement, terms and payment schedule, all signed by myself, my parents, and formally witnessed by a 3rd party.

How Will this be considered during divorce process?? As our total debt is still equal, just from different sources

thanks in advance

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23 Jun 12 #338547 by dukey
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If the money side becomes contested and you both end up in court the loan will be considered "soft" because its from the bank of mam and dad, its not a loan in the same way as a bank.

What effect it will have really depends on a heap of factors, the first is do you have enough money in the pot for your respective basic needs.

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23 Jun 12 #338633 by MDCM
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Thanks for replying :-)

I don''t think there is money in the pot Tbh. The house is worth 2k less than what we owe. So there is nothing argue over with regards to equity share.
Pension wise, i don''t currently work as 3 small kids at home, but the CETV value of my previous work pensions is £14k (i am 35), his is approximately £120k (him age 47).
Debt wise, he took approx 7k with him, i have 8k that i am repaying my parents, plus a 2k overdraft. All debts raised whilst together.

I receive 300 a month off him, supposedly towards the mortgage. But no child maint on top, even tho this is less than CSA value.
He clears 1800 per month.

Cannot seem to stop stressing about all this :-(

  • hadenoughnow
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23 Jun 12 #338667 by hadenoughnow
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He should be paying 25% of net income for 3 children. That''s 450 less overnights if he has the children. Are you claiming all the benefits you can?
Are you hoping to stay in the FMH? Can you afford to?
How long were you married? Did you cohabit before?

Hadenoughnow

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24 Jun 12 #338680 by MDCM
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Hi, and thanks for your response.

yeah i do claim everything i am able to, including mortgage assistance via Dwp, towards my half of the interest which i am entitled to for another 12 months.

We were together for 11.5 years prior to split, co-habiting within 2 weeks of relationship beginning, and have been married for 8 years.

He only has the kids 1 overnight every other fortnight, plus a few extra during school holidays, but its is way below the 52 night Csa threshold.

I appreciate the money he already gives me towards mortgage can be deemed as child support, so the only figure we are arguing over is the £100 difference. Doesn''t sound alot, but would actually make all the difference.

With regards to the FMH, i am really unsure what to do there. On paper i can JUST afford it by myself without any money coming from him. My total income with all benefits equates to about 1100 per month (mortgage alone is 650). But reality is, there is never enough left at the end of month. I am not a squanderer either, i am meticulously careful with money. Undoubtedly that is just how life is these days.

Am still at the point of deciding whether to roll over and hand sell or hand it to him, or to fight it and try to keep everything i can for me and kids.

If i got proper CM and/or SM I think i could just about fumble my way through life.
Him on the other hand lives alone, and is currently trying to find a 4 bed house to rent, So Will soon be living the life of Riley :-(

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24 Jun 12 #338719 by hadenoughnow
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You could get the csa involved to make sure he is paying the appropriate amount. 25% is the minimum he should pay.

How old are the children? Are you able to work at least part time? That would allow you to claim working tax credits.

Selling a property with no equity may be a false economy if renting is going to cost more than the mortgage. However you need to be able to afford to live.

His income is not really high enough for sm to be a factor although you should ask for nominal sm to protect you. Is the 1100 you mentioned inclusive of cm ? Does it include the mortgage support you are getting?

He does have a larger pension pot but is also 12 years older. You have the children which will limit your ability to build up pension for a few years. You could ask for a pension share. A court may award this as there is no equity to offset it against. That though is not much use to you now. I would have thought, depending on your answers re income etc, it is possible that a court may decide that a small amount of sm say 50 a month until the youngest leaves school may be considered a fair exchange for a pension share. Alternatively he could take on the debt by raising a loan to pay off your parents.

Parental loans are normally treated as soft but you have evidence of the borrowing and have got a formal arrangement. Presumably you also have evidence of repayments being made?

Hadenoughnow

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24 Jun 12 #338765 by MDCM
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Hi, thanks again for responding.

The kids are aged 7, 5 and 2. I start college in Sept on a years course and at the end Will be a qualified classroom assistant, enabling me to start working as soon as the youngest is in full-time school in Sept 2013.

With regards the 1100 i receive ''monthly'' (i say it like this as its made up of DWP fortnightly, Tax Credits weekly, and Child Benefit weekly, but on a different day, nightmare to control)it does include the Mortgage Assistance, but not any CM.

The 300 he does give me a month is in addition, but i don''t know how to categorize it. Is it CM or is it his contribution of his half the Mortgage.

Please don''t misunderstand me that i am after CM on top of this, i am not that greedy, just want the difference made up to enable me to sort the children out nicely.

And as to the loan off my parents, yes its all done properly with a proper agreement, and there is a standing order from my account in place, which has been active since it began. My parents were in no position to give me the money, as my mum is severely disabled and has never been able to work. But they are able to function on the monthly repayments they receive from me.
In all honesty i was ashamed to accept it, but could no way keep up with the monthly interest :-(

Thanks

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