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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


Hallelujah charging orders overturned - justice!

  • broke200
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13 Mar 13 #384111 by broke200
Topic started by broke200
Hi All

I just wanted to say a big thank you to you all over the past year. I have been reading your advice as I have been fighting for my rights to vary a financial order made 2 years ago.

What was agreed at the fdr was extremely one sided, as my aggressive greedy ex demanded virtually everything I had ever worked for and used my three children in the most disgusting ways possible to get the most amount of money she could. For herself, less for the children which I knew well. In any case her greed backfired. I was unable to meet the payments - despite doing everything I could.

Due to the pressure and stress of the burden I had a breakdown. I have felt so low over the past year as the debt was increasing. Instead of being mature and engaging my ex decided to continually ignore my attempts to sort it out in a reasonable way and instead take out charging orders on the flat i bought post divorce, without notifying me.

I was able to prove that these actions added to the extreme and unreasonable pressure. In the end, at the final hearing for my variation, (because at the fdr she had the gaul to ask for even more money!) despite my ex attempting to suggest she notified me, the judge believed she didn''t and also that she had been using the court process unfairly.

In the end due to her lack of notification and engagement plus a few other things all charging orders were lifted. All spousal maintenance in arrears removed and she got a work order. All I have ever wanted was a reasonable settlement, fair for both parties so everyone can move on but why people get blind greed when it comes to money I don''t know. I now feel the outcome is more reasonable and I look forward to slowly rebuilding from here. Thanks all :)

  • Cherub3
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13 Mar 13 #384117 by Cherub3
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Well done broke200, sounds like you have exercised your right to also be supported and for some fairness to prevail. Too many men get forgotten in the divorce process and are seen as only banks to facilitate demands rather than being recognised as having rights too. Rights to some of the money they earned, have contact with their children etc. Hopefully the stress will subside somewhat and with your ex having to return to work she will have less time to target you and hopefully learn to take some responsibility herself also. May I ask if you represented yourself or did you use a lawyer for your variation?

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14 Mar 13 #384271 by broke200
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Thanks cherub3. It was a mixture actually I began with a legal aid lawyer mainly to try to set aside these charging orders individually. Initially both my attempts at doing so we rejected by the court but then I realised that was because they would be dealt with during financial proceedings. The court wanted the financial issues solved as a whole, not just individual pieces. When I realised that I self represented for my variation including asking the court to lift the charging orders and when all the facts were on the table about her purposely not informing me and a few other things they were set aside. Being an lip can be difficult but I kept things simple and did not let myself get embroiled in conversations of emotional blackmail, which although was exasperating given my exs game playing, worked out in the end. Do you need any lip advice?!

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16 Mar 13 #384660 by Cherub3
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No not me, a friend actually. I think she is quite scared of going it alone, so to speak. I believe she was hoping to cut out the solicitors fees and go directly to a barrister. You should share more of your advice on the forum with others though. It sounds like you have quite a lot to share!! :)Hope your day is a lovely one.

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19 Mar 13 #385163 by broke200
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Thanks, perhaps I will share a bit of my story with others.

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