A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info


What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


planning

  • GETTING STRONGER NOW
  • GETTING STRONGER NOW's Avatar Posted by
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
13 Jun 13 #397042 by GETTING STRONGER NOW
Topic started by GETTING STRONGER NOW
I can feel myself slipping deeper and deeper into debt..
My stbx "controlled " the money and I was unable to spend anything without there been an inquisition. We had lots of savings but other than going on holiday once a year and buying his own designer clothes I wasn''t allowed to spend anything.
We separated 18 months since, since then I admit I have gone a little (or rather a lot) mad with money, I''m now at the point where I owe a lot on credit cards and loans. I can mange to repay the monthly bills but I want to stop before I get any deeper.
I only give my children essentials (which they weren''t allowed before) and I still believe they should be entitled to a family holiday, lets face it we all need the away time but he problem is the bills and maintenance of the property is extortionate and I have spent any savings i had just on paying the monthly bills.My stbx refuses to discuss finances, refuses to allow me to sell the house, no longer as a solicitor and has called the police if I email requesting to discuss finances threatening me with harassment. We have been apart over 18 months, he lives with his girlfriend in a rented property sharing all the bills with her. he pays Nothing to our property or its upkeep and pays minimal CSA.
I really don''t know what to do. it has taken me a long time to move on emotionally and I think this is his way of still having some control over me but i don''t know how to stop getting myself deeper into it without spending money with court proceedings which i do not have. I work full time, have two teenagers who have no contact with their father so he offers no financial help other than what he is forced to pay through CSA.
i just feel like I have no way out..

  • MH5
  • MH5's Avatar
  • Elite Member
  • Elite Member
More
19 Jun 13 #397782 by MH5
Reply from MH5
Are you married? Whose name is the house and any mortgage in?

  • GETTING STRONGER NOW
  • GETTING STRONGER NOW's Avatar Posted by
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
19 Jun 13 #397785 by GETTING STRONGER NOW
Reply from GETTING STRONGER NOW
married 17 yrs. 2 kids under 16.
House in joint names but he also owns a flat AND rents a house.

  • MH5
  • MH5's Avatar
  • Elite Member
  • Elite Member
More
19 Jun 13 #397821 by MH5
Reply from MH5
Is there a reason why neither of you have instigated divorce proceedings?

  • GETTING STRONGER NOW
  • GETTING STRONGER NOW's Avatar Posted by
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
20 Jun 13 #397887 by GETTING STRONGER NOW
Reply from GETTING STRONGER NOW
I instigated divorce proceeding Jan 2011, I''ve had the Nisi since May 2011 but he point blank refuses to discuss finances. Solicitor says with how his behaviour has been so far he doesn''t hold out much hope on a quick solution to finances

  • Gillian48
  • Gillian48's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
20 Jun 13 #397893 by Gillian48
Reply from Gillian48
Re: credit card debts etc... - I came out of my marriage with a lot of debts - went to CAB which weren''t very helpful - so posted my problem on her and got some great advice. As I was going through court proceedings I couldn''t go bankrupt etc... So I decided to write to all the CC companies about my problems - enclosed my income/finances written down and asked if they would freeze the interest and allow me to pay a nominal payment of £5 a month. They all wrote back accepted my offer and yes I still have the debt but at least the amount isn''t increasing and I can cope better paying just £5 a month - they are going to review it after a year.
Not sure what your situation is ? and life is a struggle as I used to rely on these to buy food etc.. For my kids - but it was the best option to take - not sure if it will help you at all but worth considering. xxx

  • MH5
  • MH5's Avatar
  • Elite Member
  • Elite Member
More
20 Jun 13 #397941 by MH5
Reply from MH5
The only thing I can suggest is to apply to the court for an order and advise him that you will seek to recover your costs from him due to his refusal to try and reach an agreement outside of court but it will not settle matters quickly. Also court fees are going up on 1st July. The current fee is £240 whereas it would be £45.00 if you were able to come to an agreement with your husband and you only needed the court to approve it.

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11