i was thinking he keep his properties and me mine, but after years of abuse and now him trying to dispose of assets i feel so angry. i also worry that the more "reasonable" i am the more he takes advantage. He genuinely feels entitled to his houses and half of anything i have!
Unfortunately being angry can cost you a lot of money in court .
You really do need to try to keep emotions out of it - because if it gets into court, the judge won''t be interested. Conduct such as abuse is very, very rarely a factor in financial cases - although if he claims he no longer owns his properties and has deliberately signed them over to someone for nothing/very little this would be relevant.
You have three children. It is not an especially long marriage. He chooses not to work - a judge would expect him to.
You can try a voluntary exchange of financial information and an open offer along the lines I suggested - to save costs. But if he does not go for it, I cannot see you have anything to lose by going through the courts as fast as you can.