I was wondering if I could ask for some perspective on settlement in my current situation.
My partner and I are going to separate, eventually. No other parties involved on my side, possibly on his, but that is not the reason for the split.
We have been together ten years, cohabited for nine years, purchased a house together five years ago, married three years ago, have a son of two.
The house was purchased using equity of £45k from my house sale (sole owned by me) plus paid all fees and costs from moving. At the time of purchasing the house I also gave him £16k to buy his car and paid for all furniture and initial set up electronics in the house (mentionned as this was over £10k too).
Salary approx. £34k
Pension approx. £20k
Car approx. £2k
Debt approx. -£5k
Salary approx. £31k
Pension approx. £20k
Car approx. £7k
Gadgets approx. £8k (if sold on now figure-he works in IT and has a photography habit, we have thousands in all of the latest gear, much of which is responsible for his high debt figure)
Debt approx. -£15k
My intention is to be the parent with child but offering 50/50 residence (I don’t know if he’ll take this as he’s not great with the responsibility, but I’ve based my assumptions on him taking the opportunity). Rather than maintenance it would be my intention for us to both still pay for our son’s nursery fees, which come in at the amount full CSA payment would be (he may not agree to this but I know he wants our son to stay in the same nursery so would hopefully).
Previously my plan was I was going to leave the marital home
upon settlement, find somewhere else to rent with my son and was happy to either sell the house or for him to ‘buy me out’ as I couldn''t afford the mortgage on my own. However, our mortgage rate has dropped and it is in fact much cheaper for me to remain in the house than to rent elsewhere. Also, when I was going to leave I had assumed there would be a profit in the house. It also now transpires that there will be virtually no equity, once estate agent fees and solicitors sale fees are paid we would perhaps be left with a couple of thousand to split if anything. I may be able to take the mortgage on too in just my name, but once some haggling with work is done over my hours and pay.
I have made the following assumptions (please correct me if any of these are wrong):
We would be classed as a long marriage due to cohabitation.
It does not matter that I paid for the house deposit or gifted him money for the car, that’s all water under the bridge and will not be taken into consideration.
My questions are:
Am I likely to be forced to sell the house with no equity available?
(Bit ambiguous this one) Is it fair for me to stay and him go? I am concerned he won’t have any money to get anywhere else and will probably return to his parents.
What do I do if he won’t leave, is court to get a judge to decide my only option?
Split wise , I’m happy to split equity with him if there is any by the time this is sorted, but I feel that financially we walk away with what we have and split the remainder of the home stuff. What do others think about this?
I don’t want to screw him over, which is why my plans have always been for me to leave the house and sell either to him or through an estate agent. But it seems crazy to leave the house if it’s so much less than renting a two bed (nearly £300 per month). Now I appreciate I could leave him with the house enjoying the cheaper rent, but then I get concerned about (1) remaining on the mortgage with him (he spends way beyond his means) (2) I paid all the deposit, part of me does resent him keeping the house, which I know is petty.
I am looking for views. I think I have thought everything through but other people’s perspective is always welcome.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.