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Feel so stupid,Help

  • steve901
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11 Feb 08 #13514 by steve901
Topic started by steve901
I got married 8 years ago after relocating to south England. I had 25k in savings at marriage. My wifes parents agreed to buy us a house for 100k to be put in my wifes and their name. They said mine could be added at a later date.(right!!). We decided we would use my money to renovate the house. Which we did. I had no job at the time this was reason for this. 8 years on I have a good job ,50k a year. We have two children 8 and 6. My wife never worked in the marriage , just did the odd bits of hairdressing now and then. We have 20k of debt from the marriage which I pay about 950 pcm for.
We split up, she sold the house, I moved to a house share and she has got all the money out of the house. I am not sure if it is in her account or hidden with parents. She is refusing to give me any money out of the house. She also wants child maintenance and spousal maintenance. The CSA says I should pay 540 pcm but this could be offset with debts etc. My offer to her was pay off joint debts and I would give her 700pcm for kids (which is more than would have to). She says she cant live on this and is being unreasonable. She has already located to cornwall taking kids , her rich parents pay the rent and she also does hairdressing now and then.
It just seems she wants to bleed me dry, keep paying debts, pay her and have no money out of house and I cant see kids when I want as its 3hours travel. Is she entitled to more that I have offered?

  • dukey
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11 Feb 08 #13517 by dukey
Reply from dukey
Hello Steve its an all to common story are you divorced or just seperated, with two children csa will ask for 20% of your net earnings (15% for fist 5% second) i dont see how she can ask for more than the £540 the csa stated if you are not divorced and dont intend to you should consider a legal seperation you are paying old debt what if your x builds new debts?

  • mike62
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11 Feb 08 #13524 by mike62
Reply from mike62
Have either of you started divorce proceedings yet steve?

  • steve901
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11 Feb 08 #13529 by steve901
Reply from steve901
Yes she has just filed against me. She wants me to pay cost of that to.

  • mike62
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11 Feb 08 #13569 by mike62
Reply from mike62
Nowt like rubbin your nose in it, as we say up North Steve!

Sounds very unfair to me. OK, so you married and parents paid 100K for house. You spent 25K renovating it and 8 years on split. She sold it for X pounds.

To my mind you are entitled to a share in the X - 100K figure, whatever that is. I'm assuming the property appreciated in that time.

You have debts of £20K from marriage - are these in your name, or in joint name? If they are in joint names, then she is liable for 50% of the debt. I think that even if in your name and you can prove that they benefitted the family as a whole, she is liable for half, though don't quote me.

OK, you earn 50K. Assume about 35K nett. You are liable for 20% of your nett income as child maintenance = £550 per month. CSA agree.

If she were entitled to spousal Maintenance, she would get roughly a third of the joint income. How much does she make CASH from her bits of hairdressing? £50 / week? £100 / week? Assume £50 - £2500 / year.

Add to your nett 35K = 37.5K
Deduct what you are paying to service joint debt (£11400)= 26.1K
Divide by 3 = 8.7K
Nett of child maint (6,600) = 1.1K = £91 / month

£550 pm Child Maint + £91 spousal = £641 / month

You are offering £700? Very generous Steve. She should bite off your hand.
Even with the law on her side, she is somewhat taking the Michael. But I think she should cover half of the marital debt. And I think she should offer up a percentage of the marital asset pot - the profit from the house.

With 2 kids and disparate incomes, you would be looking between 60:40 and 70:30 on asset split.

Have you contemplated mediation? She needs a serious reality check with someone that knows what is reasonable. If she pushes this down the legal route Steve, I think you will demonstrate that you have been very reasonable.

I hope my ramblings have helped to give you a confidence and perspective Steve. Perhaps you should seek legal advice, as she clearly is not in touch with reality.

Best of luck


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