Brand new here, and have lots of questions :-(

Hi, as it says, new here

Not sure if i am in the right section but here goes....

Husband and I separated January last year, on my say so. No one else involved or anything but enough was enough. Apparently came as a surprise to him, but myself and the rest of the world saw it coming a mile off.

Anyway the point is, since that time he has paid me nothing towards the care of the kids, (we have three children aged 6,4 and 2) except a single 150 quid at the end of March this year. He clears nearly 2k a month. His rent, which incidentally includes his council tax and water, totals 450 quid. And he sends the money to me to forward to the mortgage company for his half the mortgage and life insurance policy (350)
I am paying my half the mortgage while on income support and tax credits

I am lucky that my parents pay to clothe and shoe my kids, as i can''t afford it myself.

Hence a chat we had in Jan of this year re him paying maintenance. I asked for 200 a month, well below what CSA would take. He eventually agreed to 150 a month after breaking down in tears (crocodile in my opinion) reckoning he couldn''t afford it.

I received one payment then he stopped it as needed parts for his car.

So i have filed for divorce now, hence being in here seeking advice.

Basically after all that up there ^^^^^ i am not being unreasonable am i asking for extra money? He is off the mind that he pays his half the house, job done. My view is that regardless of whether we had kids or not, that is our joint debt that we both pay. So equally we should both pay towards our children, which obviously every last penny of mine does.

Opinion please if you don''t mind?? Thanks

Hi & welcome to wiki!

If you joint own the house and jointly on mortgage/deeds you both have responsibility to pay - however if you have occupancy of the house, then the general view is that as you have sole enjoyment of the house you fund this yourself and his contributions are in lieu of CM.

Have you checked out the CSA calculator? CM should be 25% with discounts for overnights with him.

Are you claiming all the benefits you''re entitled to?

How far along the divorce process are you?

WR

Hi WR thanks for responding.

The initial letter informing him of proceedings was received by him yesterday so its very early days.

As house is currently in negative equity i am still in it with the kids. Leaving it Will break my heart, but i accept that i can''t stay here, and home Will always be wherever i am living with my children.

I resent that he has 800 quid plus left over a month, when i have nothing. My parents currently pay to clothe and put shoes on my kids feet, as i simply don''t have the money to do it myself.

I claim everything i am able to. Even to the point of getting my water rates capped to 240 a year. Nothing else i can claim.

Its dire

Its hard making ends meet isn''t it - especially when kids grow overnight!!

But it does seem he is paying what he should according to CSA rates - 25% of £2k is £500.00 and him paying £350.00 mortgage + £150.00 directly to you equals this.

WR

Sorry, don''t think i made it clear initially. He has stopped the 150 part of the payment, after only making one such payment in the 15 months we''ve been apart. Due to needing parts for his car.

It is this extra that i am struggling without if you get me?

If you went to the csa, his payment would be 500 a month or 25% of net income. I suggest you talk to them ASAP.
Also check you are claiming all you are entitled to in the form of tax credits etc. You should be claiming ad a single parent if you are separated.

Hadenoughnow

I have to say, this looks extremely tight - for both of you. Both of you need homes, and of course especially the kids.
I agree with WR, his obligation, as far as the law is concerned , is to pay CSA at the appropriate rate. Looks very much as though his income will not allow him to pay any more than this. Contractually he is obliged to pay the mortgage - if the mortgage is in joint names ( as I strongly suspect it is ) then in theory, the position is that the liability if what is known in law as joint and several, which means that either you or he, or more realistically both, could be sued by the lender for the whole lot. From the point of view of the man, it is harsh being forced to pay for a house you are not allowed to occupy and have your own housing costs on top of that ; and as between you and your husband, he will not be expected to pay two sets of housing costs in this manner.
If you are on income support, it may be an option to look into the possibility of having your mortgage interest paid as part of your benefits, but there are definite restrictions on this, and as the rules do seem to change now and then, and I don''t CAB any more, it would be worth your while to see your local CAB to explore this option as a first step. Your lender would have to be consulted as well, but do the CAB as your first point of call. For the reasons I will outline, it is probably a good idea for you to explore every possible option - even if it turns out on further examination not to be an option.
So if all else fails you may be forced on to the '' zero option '' namely invoking the homelessness provisions and falling back on the local authority. Having dependent children, you should have a priority need for accommodation if you were homeless - but just at the moment, you are not homeless in the statutory sense, because you are an owner occupier of accommodation and entitled to occupy it. You would become homeless only if you (i) sell the house or (ii) be evicted from it.
At this stage, whether you sell the house or get evicted, if you then apply as homeless, you may be accommodated for a short period while the authority investigates your circumstances, but there is more than a slight risk that you will be turned down because of what it is known as intentional homelessness.
Intentional homelessness is a misleading expression as hardly anyone becomes homeless intentionally, but in plain English what it means is that you are homeless intentionally if it was your fault you were evicted. This usually happens when people are evicted for rent or mortgage arrears. In many cases this would indeed amouint to intentional homelessness ; but not in all cases. Homeless is not to be regarded as intentional if it is clear that you could no longer afford to live there. In your case I suspect that this may be the position, but take things one step at a time.
I think your first step is the CAB. You need to find out what benefits you can get and whether you can keep the house going with the benefit of such resources as you have or could acquire, including child support/benefits. I suspect this may be difficult ; but I think you have to do it, only to show that you did everything you could to hold on to the house.
This is what I suggest at the moment. When you have done that, let me know the outcome and we can take things further from there.
LMM