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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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Liabilities and SM

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19 Apr 12 #325091 by sillywoman
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Well said hadenoughnow!

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19 Apr 12 #325096 by somuch2know2
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A few corrections here ladies
We were married for 6 years, together for 17
Pension will be split 50/50

My wife did not work at all until last year. This was a bone of contention but with a young child aways in the house due to age differences and my wife not having a career prior it did not make financial sense for her to work and pay childcare as the financial benefit would be limited.

Im not bothered about the amount they are suggesting I pay my wife in SM and CM so much as the fact that I want to get back onto the ladder. Like i said previously, if I am assuming all the marital liabilities, plus my own than I will need an extra 30K to pay off debt and get a mortgage. That 30K will hardly affect her on a monthly basis.

CM will only drop by 5% in 2 years and then it will not drop again for another 5 years- so she is on a decent wicket for some time and being of a young age she can retrain as a teacher or whatever else she chooses to become in that time to become self-sufficient.

She will have MORE money for disposable income now than when we were together and she still is only working at most 16 hours.

This has nothing to do with "doing for the kids" . She is doing this to hurt me. She is doing this because the thought of me having a happy life with my girlfriend drives her insane. I am doing this because I need a house. I need a future. I need a place where my kids can come and feel like its a home. She is blind to all of this.

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19 Apr 12 #325099 by hadenoughnow
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sm2k2

If cohabitation moves seamlessly into marriage that is the length that is counted. 17 years is a fairly long marriage.

If there is a greater need for your stbx to have equity now to house herself and the children instead of pension then that is almost certainly what a court would order .. with, as I said, the intention that she would downsize to provide a retirement income when needed.

May I suggest that instead of going on about the offer that has been made, you look at the detailed suggestions I have made for a counter offer that would put you in a position where you can buy a property that is equivalent to hers, keep your pension, get rid of the joint debt and have a diminishing responsibility for maintenance (and therefore rising income while hers goes down). It would also protect your children''s standard of living (although it would be reduced) for as long as they need a home .. ie at least through first degree.

Incidentally the fact that she was a stay at home mum until a year ago strengthens rather than weakens her financial case as she has not been able to further her career or build a pension due to childcare commitments. I think it is highly likely there would be a joint lives order in this case.

Hadenoughnow

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19 Apr 12 #325102 by sillywoman
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Your wife is clearly young enough to retrain. Lots of people do this and I did this at the grand old age of 43! I left school with no o levels, just cses, got a degree from the Open University. If she does a degree with them and seriously anyone can, she can work at the same time, I did. There are also numerous courses run by local education centres which include all manner of things from nursing to secretarial skills.

I think it may be a bit too much expecting her to get a huge mortgage, but maybe a reasonable one, whilst trying to get 16 hours work as she would then get working tax credit which would be a reasonable sum.

I think you have said she is in her early 40s, if you can pay her £500 SM, with the usual bars until the middle leaves school in 5 years time I think she will have plenty of money and opportunity to retrain. The older ones can look after the younger one if she studies in the evenings and if she is working only 16 hours per week, that is all doable.

Your wife is bitter, many would say understandably so, however, it is what it is and in 5 years time you could both be in a much better place.

As I said in a previous post hurting someone for personal gain is wrong, however, hurting someone in order for both parties to eventually be happy can only be a good thing.

It is distressing for anyone to have to move from a big house to something smaller I know, I was there, but I loook at it this way, this is MY house and I can do what I want with it and that gives me pleasure.

You had an affair and caused a whole heap of problems, but it has happened, it is history and it is time for your wife to get over herself and achieve a great life for herself in spite of you and that will give her great pleasure at the end of the day.

Your teenage children are suffering, we can blame your wife for her anger, or we can blame you for your affair, either way you are both parents and both love those children, so keep ploughing in with them. Send texts about their day whether they reply or not and keep asking your wife to see the little one, she wants and needs her daddy. She deserves her daddy.

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19 Apr 12 #325105 by somuch2know2
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will take note of all your comments and wait for the counter.
And yes I know it strengthens her case but as Silly says. she can retrain.. she should retrain. What will she do when the kids are gone?

My brain hurts and I have had a very long week.

Roll on FDR

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19 Apr 12 #325108 by sillywoman
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ummmmmmmmmmmshe has had one money making machine, she will probably find another!

However, the satisfaction she will get from retraining, making new friends, working is enormous and I do hope she goes down that route for her own benefit.

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19 Apr 12 #325176 by PetalsInTheWind
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Spousal maintenance has its place. I suupported my husbands career for 14 years travelling the globe. I had a career then but it will take me years to get an 80k salary. In the meantime should my kids miss out?

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