i agree with in need of care i am about to enter this minefield my husband has a seven figure salary i have nothing.I gave up a very good career when my first child was born as if we both did our jobs we wouldnt see our child and the choice was we both work and employ a live in nanny or i gave up work at that point i earned half my husbands salary when i gave up work he said i quote im glad you have your priorities right (i should have known then)
by the time my eldest child was 6 we had 6 house moves .
our middle child is autistic
we have been together for 30 years and now i am being traded in for a younger foreign model at 48 and having not worked for ages i am not sure how quickly i can recoup a similar lifestyle for my chidren and myself without spousal maintenance
also my husband would have not had the career he has had without me to support him
Nobody can be expected to go back to work after a long break to support their partner''s career and children and earn a huge salary. I am back working and I am back retraining but even when that is complete I will not walk into a job that pays more than 25k. One day I might have a job that pays a six figure sum but in the meantime I need support from my children''s father to ensure my children''s lifestyle does not suffer. Divorce should not mean children have to forego all their extra-curricular activities. Often spousal maintenance gets spent on the kids to maintain their lifestyle. After all is it not right that the impact on their lives is minimised in what are already difficult circumstances for them?
My wife didnt support my career. And our marriage wasnt one that started with love, marriage, and the joint decision to have children.
My STBX will NET 3,500 and either have no mortgage or very little outgoings. I dont think anyone will suffer as this is more than they had when I was home. That covers all the extra-curriculars, a big family holiday, all the bills and still leaves 200 a month spare (and this is all based on HER spend over the last 2 years)- Like I have said, Ive done the numbers.
But i do question your issue with working expectations. There is no reason why she cant work 16hrs a week. There is no childcare required, there are no benefits void.
My wife never had a career, nor did she have the education to ever earn a high salary - her choice. She married at 20, got divorce and pregnant (in that order) at 23. She is still young so has plenty of time to retrain and earn her own salary.
There is support and there is spite. This is very much the latter
You are entitled to your views of course but the only opinion that is binding is that of a judge at a final hearing. Modern marriages are viewed as a relationship of two equals with the contributions of both parties as equal apart from a few exceptional cases. Conduct is very rarely a factor in divorce settlements, but the courts consider the nature of the relationship and the lifestyle during the marriage. In your case your wife has been your dependent and she is unlikely to be able to earn as much in the future as she would have done if she had not been in the relationship.
When the relationship was long the other the aim of settling the finances is equality. Equality doesn''t necessarily mean a mathematical 50:50 split, it can be in different proportions to leave both parties on a similar financial footing. It isn''t just a case of meeting a spouse''s reasonable needs, there is an element of sharing the "fruits" of the marriage.
We all try and help each other here, you have had some very good advice indeed, but your not taking it, wiki`s are being polite and subtle but let me break it down for you.
They are warning you that if this goes all the way you could get a right kicking at FH.
The marriage will be considered long.
You will be considered to be of recoverable age.
Kids always come first.
Your wife`s pension provision will be quite high on the list, your thinking 50-50, the judge wont, your pension will grow hers wont, given respective income and potential you could well lose most of it.
SM, your probably looking at a global order on a joint lives basis, this will reflect again your income potential and hers, once the kids are a bit older your wife will lose a ton of benefits the order will reflect this.
The liquid asset division could be on the high side to reflect the low long term mortgage potential of your wife, think in the region of 70% maybe more.
In law the contribution of the bread winner and home maker are seen as equal, yes you have done well and advanced as many men do but all this actually means is you have an income to care for your first family post divorce.
The judge wont care why the marriage broke down, only the asset and income division.
Final hearings are always a risk, absolutely no one can tell you with any certainty what the judge will decide, your matter is fairly clean cut, any which way this goes you wont be happy, if i were in your position i would rather bear knuckle fight a polar bear than walk into a final hearing, lets face it it would be less painful.
Take or leave what is said on wiki but remember this, no one here is being paid by you, your legal beagles are, if you can settle if you can`t take note of what the judge has to say at FDR, in fact write it down, and think very carefully indeed before committing financial suicide at FH.
Maybe its the way I am writing but I have a full notebook of all the advice and things stated and if I come back with more arguments or statements its because I want to know EVERYTHING and all possible rebuttles to what could be said in return.
I would like to settle, I would have liked to settle months ago but she is choosing the courts.