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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.

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  • Saintsalive
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04 Jul 12 #341107 by Saintsalive
Topic started by Saintsalive
I have been divorced now for some 8 year and have three children (17, 15 and 13). I have paid £1k a month maintenance on the dot. I also fund cars, phones and always support the kids with clothes and other stuff. So always been happy to provide. However, my ex-wife left me for her best friends husband, along with his four small boys. He has little income and they have no mortgage as I was told by the Court to stump up for a house aswell. It has always irked me that I was supporting her new extended family and even my eldest has to work to pay for her own cash/clothes and driving lessons. They are now married and expecting a baby. This is where my patience is snapping. I happily provide for my kids, but it is close to obscene how little my kids see of the support I give. I fund her life.

My ideal solution is to pay the maintenance directly to the kids into their bank accounts.

What would be wrong with this? I have not failed to provide, not are my intentions to stop providing for my kids. I just want them to have some benefit from it.

Bit of a ramble, but advice welcome.



  • jslgb
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04 Jul 12 #341108 by jslgb
Reply from jslgb
I dont think you can pay the children direct as the money will cover food, rent, utilities etc.

Do you pay the correct amount of maintenance? Is it done through the csa? One option may be to see if you are paying too much and if you are you could pay any excess directly to your children instead of sending it all to your ex wife.

  • sillywoman
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04 Jul 12 #341109 by sillywoman
Reply from sillywoman
25% of your net salary is all you are legally expected to provide for 3 children.

  • Saintsalive
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04 Jul 12 #341110 by Saintsalive
Reply from Saintsalive
It is the result of a Court Order

  • maisymoos
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04 Jul 12 #341111 by maisymoos
Reply from maisymoos
Hi Saints Alive

The problem you have is that your wife would be able to apply via the Child Support Agency (CSA). They would calculate amount due based on your weekly income for 3 children this would be 25% of your next weekly income less deduction for overnight stays. The CSA have an online calulator where you can check what you would need to pay.

  • Fiona
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04 Jul 12 #341112 by Fiona
Reply from Fiona
There is no harm in teenagers working to pay for their cash, own clothes or driving lessons.

How is the maintenance paid - is it stipulated in a court order, if so when was the order dated and does it include maintenance for your ex-wife?

  • BoysMum
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04 Jul 12 #341113 by BoysMum
Reply from BoysMum

I have 2 older children in their late teens. Their dad, like you, always paid maintenance. I started a new relationship and went on to have 2 more children. I was concerned that my ex would think exactly as you are. Luckily, we have always been on good terms. We agreed that he would pay the money direct into the children''s bank accounts. Everyone was happy, and we have had this arrangement for the past couple of years.

Are you able to discuss this with your ex ? Not everyone would agree with me, but I was happy for the children to have the money. It''s given them a lesson in the value of money, and the £100 trainers suddenly became less appealing when they had to buy them themselves ;)

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