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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


How child maintenance is spent/not being spent?

  • twilight1
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01 Aug 12 #346810 by twilight1
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I think with us its best to be reasonable and calm as I think its the opposite which sometimes is whats wanted so its not worth it and takes away some of the appeal of doing/saying etc something in the future which makes it all a bit easier. I think at the moment RP may genuinely not see the big picture just the bit of "im making my point" and may come to see it later on in years to come but in the long run it will improve (it has somewhat already over the course of several years) and im hoping we will carry on making progress. But also kids will get older and more vocal about their clothes and shoes anyway in a few years probably so wont be as easy to pull tricks like that.

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01 Aug 12 #346813 by sillywoman
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I get CSA for my daughter.

I have to pay a mortgage, water rates, internet, gas, electricity, TV licence, school bus fares, food, entertainment, pocket money, clothes, birthday and xmas presents.

Of course her father is not responsible for paying totally for her needs, I am resposible for paying half, but kids are expensive! Her father chooses not to see her and does not send cards or presents.

All my daughters clothes are purchased from Primark and she has very few, but we battle on!

  • zonked
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01 Aug 12 #346818 by zonked
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sillywoman wrote:

I get CSA for my daughter....


Of course her father is not responsible for paying totally for her needs, I am resposible for paying half, but kids are expensive! Her father chooses not to see her and does not send cards or presents...


To follow the logic surely it would be..costs of the child, minus benefit package....remainder spilt between both parents?

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02 Aug 12 #346822 by sillywoman
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Zonked I can see what you are saying, but without my daughter I could live in a one bedroomed place and of course all costs would be lower.

Without my daughter I wouldnt need a TV and would keep heating low in the winter.

I would have no mortgage because I would buy a one bed flat outright, so straight away thaat is a saving of £450 plus £12 (TV licence) per month. Her fares to school are £1.50 per day. Her pocket money (for which she does jobs and buys all non essentials i.e. make up, phone is £40 per month (she is nearly 17). She did have a part time job but the shop closed down and she is unable to find annother.

My daughter being female obviously needs toiletries which cost about £10 per month.

She visits the hairdresser as little as possible.

No holiday for her this year.

But her two sisters have been on holiday (student grant savings!) and I have been on holiday.

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02 Aug 12 #346823 by zonked
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ok, how about costs of raising the child, plus additional costs incurred by both parents (extra rooms, cars, heating etc)...minus benefit package..remainder split equally?

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02 Aug 12 #346826 by u6c00
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I agree to some extent with both of you. The problem is this:

when you live together, splitting the finances is easy. You need one house, one set of bills, perhaps only one car.

When a partnership breaks up, both of you have to afford your own home, your own car, your own set of bills. Meals become more expensive unless you''re careful.

It becomes impractical or impossible for separated people to afford to live their own lives AND support the separated partner. Unfortunately, it often falls to the mother to bear the burden of the costs of the child, though a lot of men on this forum would jump at the chance to have it the other way around.

Sadly neither party will ever see it through the eyes of the other.

  • redwine47
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02 Aug 12 #346827 by redwine47
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Expenses get higher as they get older, clothes more expensive, toiletries etc.... then University for some, I can tell you it''s shocking & my wee student had part time job too.

But just gotta get on with it... Children are resilient..... The older generation had too just get on with worse many years ago.

I f only commication was better with nrps perhaps there would be more understanding its not all about money .... It''s not gonna happen... though.

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