SM has to be seen in context of the overall circumstances. Children under 18 are a priority but over 18''s in education aren''t irrelevant even if they don''t live with you full time.
The starting point is splitting any capital. If you earn less a greater share of assets in your favour may be justified because your mortgage raising capability is less than your husband''s. Following on from that your mortgage payments would be lower reducing your "need" for SM. On the other hand your ex would have less capital and his monthly mortgage payments would be more than yours so he would have less disposable income and therefore he would have less ability to pay SM. It''s a sad fact of life that divorced couples living in two homes aren''t going to enjoy the same lifestyle they did when they were married and living in one home.
Maisymoos is spot on. Once the capital split has been determined your need for SM is determined by deducting your living expenses from your income to identify the shortfall. Then your husband''s living expenses are deducted from his income to calculate his disposable income and ability to pay. No one is expected to pay SM if that means they are living below a subsistence level and realistically someone on an income of £30k isn''t likely to pay much, if any, SM. It also depends on where you live. In some areas of England & Wales (e.g. London and SE) SM is more likely than others.
In what capacity is your son intending to go to court? Is he hoping to go into court as a McKenzie Friend for one parent or just to hang about court corridors to give moral support? It''s unlikely the judge would allow him to be a MF for your husband if you objected.
You can take any lay person along as a MF for moral support and to assist with the paperwork etc, but taking a family member or new partner is likely to inflame the situation and not serve the interests of justice. The judge has the last word on whether a particular MF is helpful to the proceedings or not.
Thank you. As I said, neither child is getting involved in the court proceedings, I wouldn''t put them through it even if he was at home, but as both son and daughter will be ensconced at uni, it would have to be a friend. A friend of mine who has been through several divorces has offered to come with me, so I will try to find out if she is happy to sit by me in the chambers, or if,she wants to remain outside. Given how strongly she feels and also having a strong personality, I''d quite like her with me. Thanks for the advice. I found out today that STBX is now engaged to his partner who is joint mortgagor on their property. There are no children involved though. Bit sick to get engaged whilst you are still legally married I thought.
I agree even if you can''t prove that he has got ingaged he has proven as he is on a joint mortgage that he is co-habiting and that his needs are being subsedised by another party, not quite the re-marriage trap (mine has got re-married despite the fact we are still in financial dispute) but pretty damning.
Yes, look through his income and outgoing statements and see if he is telling porkie pies.
Mine claimed he needed £500 a month for rent when his bank statements proved that he wasn''t paying any rent, any utilities and contribution at all to his then partner now wifes house and neither was he making a contribution by way of child maintenence to me nor a contribution to the joint mortgage on our house.
He made up all sorts of fantastical ficticious payments on his outgoings which were not supported by his bank statements.
His bank statements revealed that he was spending thousands and thousands of pounds on foreign holidays almost every other month, hundreds of drink, thousands on clothes in expensive womans wear shops, days out at the races in Newmarket.
He also claimed that he was not earning anything from his self employment
Thank you. I still have not received his bank statements that I requested. The response to questionnaires were supposed to be in on 15th of this month. mine went to court and his sol on 14th, not a word from him. I have emailed his sol, but no response.
He has dragged his feet for 3 and a half years, but now he''s getting married again, I would have thought he would like this over. After all, he can''t marry her until he receives the Decree Absolute, which he won''t receive until all this is settled. Don''t understand him, but hey ho.