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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

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The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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Just dont know anymore

  • amefbi
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19 Aug 12 #350560 by amefbi
Topic started by amefbi
Husband moving in 2weeks to flat. I stay FH.

Will only pay mortgage £750 for 6mths,cut elec/gas/phone,etc..then pay elec/gas and mortgage again,thats all,then £50 week exstra for food = 750+150+50=£950. Currently he was paying £1336 that includes my mobile, internet,BT phone, dish, both our cars insurance. His mobile,loan,and food is exstra. He argues If I cant afford the house, move?? have the house reposessed? sell on auction if I cant sell FH.
Im mentally exhausted argueing with him, he is defo borderline split personality.

His payslip earnings(cash)£3500/£4000 month and £850 retirement= £4350/£4850 After paying household all inclusive maybee £1800..Mine is £298DLA that Im fighting currently to get back to £400 as before, plus £270 rental income abroad and not every month.

My £568 income compare to his £4850

Im a smoker have been for 45yrs,now heavy smoker due to all this stress, wont have enough left before I get £298, Im in panic becuse of this as well, will defo RUN to buy some when money is paid, even though I can hardly walk,walking stick, 50meters and in pain. I have Neuralgia(permanent nerve damage from Shingles, Spinal disk problems, nek to lumbar, restricted, Osteoporosis and Osteo-arthritis, Fribromylgia, no losing use of left arm and not just my legs. Since 2006 he will not accept that Im ill,and mentally and physically abused me. I have files and files full of my medical issues, he wont even give me money for prescriptions.

He has private solicitor,petitioned me and I agreed on the UB thats all lies and laughable. (1 of which is Im just lazy dont wanna work, never work in 40yrs marriage, etc) I want this divorce to proceed and want to settle our finances and support myself, as quick and painless as possible.

I dont have £400 to claim MPS will have to wait 2-3mths to save this amount. I will have to selfrep as well and just find solicitor to check my paperwork/offer wordings/terms is correct etc.

There is more to this case house equity, pension etc. but I need advice pls if I should contact his solicitor and give her some info and facts of our financies, send her proof of my illness( on UB he states I just wants to be a kept woman)
He only gave her 3 payslips, mortgage statement, marriage certificate, his cars value.
He said thats all she wants as we agreed he keeps his pension, and I keep the house (NO its not, I know we cant agree) He did not go back after 1st app mediation, she asked to many questions.

I am fully aware how the divorce procedings and Financial issues as dealt with thanks to this site and all the support and help..Forgetting about all the issues that matters in divorce and the law.

My main concern is and my worries. His sols can only assist and advice him what he informs her.

Do I or can I inform his sols that he is moving in 2 weeks and not going to pay, That Im ill and disabled, my income and his income, send her the evidence/proof docs....or do I keep quiet and try and get to court as quick as possible with my evidence and position. I feel that this might take time going back and forth then and its time I dont have (and money)

  • MrsSadness
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20 Aug 12 #350602 by MrsSadness
Reply from MrsSadness
We have chatted before on here and you have my support: shame you have become the R once again. I have said all this before to you. On back foot now. I wish I could say something positive here, but volunteering info to his solicitor is really not the best thing to do. I appreciate you may feel angry and confused, but you did have your own solicitor. What happened to him/her then, and did you get down to the CAB?

Strongly suggest you get legal advice...... your OWN: the ex''s solicitor works for him, not you. I appreciate you are trying your best to get things sorted out, but you are R once again which not only back foots you, but you are also shooting yourself in one remainng foot left, by volunteering info to his solicitor: he/she is not allowed to help you. You are doing yourself no favours here..... BTW, you refer to your home as FM, its MH. I am only trying to help and support you here, but strongly suggest you re-employ your own solicitor: at least seek legal guidance. I know finances may be tough and you say you need to SR, but truly do think you need to your own representation, and don''t talk to his solicitor anymore... all ammunition ok, now he has filed and you are already on back foot as an R. That''s all I can say. I wish you well with it..... and yes, you have needs, so any AR will include this under S25 and may be ''needs led'' .... you need to be the one applying for AR by the way even though you are sadly the R. Just dont talk to his solicitor anymore unless its about negotiation and any offers pre FA.
I hope I have helped clarify the process. Have you read the guides on here? It may help if you do especially as you are a LIP.. Anyway, take care. Hope it all works out for you.

  • amefbi
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20 Aug 12 #350641 by amefbi
Reply from amefbi
Thx for replying. Got the feeling Im being ignored on my posts because people might think..what the hell..we have given her advice. I am grateful.Informed what I can and should do...but its not working for me yet..because Im getting nowhere because I dont have money, no family of friends to support me in person.

Ive never had my own solicitor,cant pay,went to CAB,advised Legal Help £50 to apply,could not supply 6mts bankstatements, only 3mths,gave me app for 4 weeks later,dragging her feet,Legal aid is a ''loan'' not free. In 4 weeks I wanted to file AR/MPS, because I knew he was moving out, dont care about the house(FH/MH? sorry Im trying to be smart in English, thx for this one)

If I was in better position money wise I would defo prefer to have a solicitor, They know best.When he withdrew the divorce 3weeks ago I was so glad because I knew I was in better position as Petitioner and not Respondant.Did try and explain we can file, cost £340 and he can use his sols for finances then.He came back from his sols, no she will do and its only £1500 (I dont have the £340) Received Petition draft, (lies UB) I agreed and object but wont defend divorce.

Majority people on this site are housed,paying their ways even with difficulties, not enough money, but at least they are housed in seperate housing,etc..can ''afford'' to go with the flow of divorce proceedings. I cant at this stage, Im in house, but cant pay anything..and will take time to receive benifits..what to do in next 6mths or more.

Going back and forth costs money. He has savings hidden about £5000,his pay as well, he can use for his sols,equity in House 10K-20K, Husband dont care if house is sold, I do and why should house be sold to pay his solicitors
They claim a charge on house for their costs,to be paid. The ''loan'' for Legal Aid paid back as well out of Capital before divided between parties. Any Capital/money in this marital pot (not much) I find difficult to just sit back and wait for the prosess and see all lost/gone.

His sols will advice him the house to be sold, I cant afford mortgage,move,I can work, no children, no SM, pension sharing. And I dont agree, so why go back and forth, its costly and time wasting for me.

I think its £400 for me to apply MPS and I dont have this money. Im off to CAB again this week but need help with my DLA form. And help as E&S applied Jan and no reply. I have copy and paste so many info on this site that I have to read and understand.

Thankyou for your and others advice. Its just that I cant do what I should or could do currently in my situation.

  • Elphie
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20 Aug 12 #350671 by Elphie
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Hi, I don''t really know what to advise as I''m still going through the process myself. I think I replied once before re benefits (although maybe I am confusing you with someone else) you don''t need to "prove" you are single on new applications - I never did, still using my married title but filling in forms as single. Not once have I been asked to prove it. I applied for income support as I can''t work with young children, but if I remember rightly you do work? But you should still be able to apply for working tax credits, you income as a single person will probably entitle you to it. The form isn''t that long or complex to fill in although it does take a while to process but if you ring up and request the form today you could have the money within the month, and this could then be used to pay for an mps application.

Is the mortgage partly in your name? Or is it solely in your oh''s? If partly in your name, you can also apply for help with the mortgage; you would only get money towards 50% of the interest, not capital, as if in joint names they assume you are responsible for 50%. And there is a waiting period after the application is accepted, which varies and can be up to 9 months. So this is long term thinking, but it is worth doing to make your future easier.

Also, regarding legal advise, thre are lots of solisitors out there who give free half hour initial advise. Work out a list of questions, go armed with the sort of facts and figures asked for on here. And go to as many different solisitors offering free legal advise until you have your answers. It''s a bit patch work, but at least you would be getting some legal advise based on your personal circumstances, which are very complex and difficult which might be why you aren''t getting as many responses as you would like.

  • amefbi
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20 Aug 12 #350693 by amefbi
Reply from amefbi
Thx yes you did advice before.

Mortgage joint and yes I will arrange payments, have correct info on what to do about this.I cant afford on my own currently, reason I want to keep property as renting will costt more. I have made changes in house to suit me and help with my disability.

Did work 34 of 40yrs marriage, ill last 6yrs since 2006,cant work,no kids,cant claim tax credits, nothing. Received £400 DLA from 2008,Tried E&A but denied. DLA stopped, appealed now £298 without medical,Fighting currently to reinstated at highest, must worse since last yr.

Jan 2012 applied for ESA3 special circumstances,seperate bedrooms,can support myself,no reply, called June(6mths later)they will work on it and let me know. Its Aug (8mths) Im gonna call them today again, (told them Jan and June its urgent, need help)

Im going to CAB this week, I cant deal with this anymore on my own, getting nowhere. I know I wil be able to claim benifits at the end of the day. But it takes time and time is what I dont really have to survive.

Am aware of the initial half hour free. Have seen the only one in town already. Have to travel to neighbouring ones but I will go defo..Have gained info on this site, and my thoughts were, that I will use these halfhour free sessions for help with Forms A, Financial final docs, etc, correctness and wording/terms etc. I will have the facts and figures and evidence ready for financial issues..dont need advise of the process, wasting my time and energy. I have found this on wiki.

I know my why of speech is so different on this site and might be confusing.
But my emotional state and stressing about my situation is making me bonkers, maybee I just needed to know someone is listening out there as Im alone with my thoughts.

Thx

  • Elphie
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20 Aug 12 #350703 by Elphie
Reply from Elphie
Aw, I''m listening Hun. I will reply more if it helps, I''m just rubbish with words at giving emotional support, and don''t know what practical advise to give.

I get stressed towards the end of the month as although my stbx is giving me half of the mortgage payments he is always threatening not to so I never know for sure if he is gonna give me the money. Feels like I''m in limbo coz there is no point in me making a mps application as he is giving me what they would likely order him to pay me, but there''s no security there that he will always pay it.

My saving grace is that while together, we put savings in my name, so I am using that at the moment to make ends meet, and if he doesn''t pay me one month then I can use that. I can only imagine how it must feel to have no security cushion at all. Xx

  • amefbi
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20 Aug 12 #350753 by amefbi
Reply from amefbi
Ebonyriver I realised to0 late he was planning his. Just regret I did not divorce him 35yrs ago after his 1st of 7 affairs. with 3 small children thinking its best to stay. Now he cheated met with money. Received his pension lumpsum in 2007, and annum retirement money as well as his high earnings.

I foolishly used my savings of £50,000 to buy this house in 2005, we both paid mortgage till 2008, even if I could not work anymore since 2006, used my savings and also to change house for my disablility needs. In 2009 I had no savings left and he then planned his exit, becoming sneaky an sly and abusing me mentally and physical. He has always been irresponsible with money in 40yrs.

But the good news is that you have helped me today with your post. I called E&A, they have just called back. Arrangements for home visit now. This is what I was trying to achieve in Jan 2012.(I had no food to eat or only porridge and water, no milk) So Im glad this is happening and I might see a light at my very dark tunnel. And off to CAB this week about my disability claim.

My stbx is really pschyco or borderline split personality.

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