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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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Just dont know anymore

  • amefbi
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21 Aug 12 #351015 by amefbi
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Thank you so much

Down and out again today but wont keep on ranting...companies calling...am I aware? person could not give password?..sorry to see you leave on 4 sept?..account will be cancelled in 31 days?, cancellation in 14 days?..

Stbx is leaving on Saturday, cancelled and tried to cancel accounts, gas/elec, phone, internet, sky..etc.

I was able to stop this from happening as all these acounts are in my name.

Will have to find a solicitor as quick as possible (legal help)Dont worry to reply on this post just ranting again. But wont be doing this anymore..keep my post formal and clear in future.

Thank for the support.

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22 Aug 12 #351057 by soulruler
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Hi,

You do need a solicitor and information is power so don''t let them steamroller you rack up costs as it would appear that stbx solitor is doing already.

As a solicitor whether they operate under the conditions laid down by the Legal Services act 2007 or whether they operate under the exam criteria which they have to pass and be able to prove to gain rights of audience in UK courts they have to explain to their client based on the evidence which is supplied what are the likely outcomes, they need to be courteous to all parties, they need to explain in detail the sort of costs involved, know when to exit a case (if the client will not co-operate or listen or if they believe based on evidence that their client is attempting to de-fraud a party or trying to get them to harras them either by letter or court applications etc).

You can download litigation rules 23 feb 2011 entity rules which towards the end of the document will give you a clear idea of the obligations of solicitors - it is about speaking in court but they are really the same as a solicitor acting for clients in their office.

It seems to me that one of the things that could be done urgently in your case is to write to his solicitor as he already has one asking for an interim payment from him to your solicitor for litigation - so that your solicitor can get paid (remember even if you get legal aid it is meant to be paid back).

I think that his conduct running up to the eventual divorce (removing funds, going for a divorce then not telling you that your disability was without grounds blar blar) could be a reason why his conduct is so extreme that you could be awarded the substantial if not all of the marital assets that are left.

Keep a clear head, talk this through, take your documents, many of the previous posts on here do come across in a very clear and consise way.

I think the history of the fraud in his pension is relevent as is the fact that you want to keep your children out of it and the involvement of one of your sons fraud in the disipation of the pension in SA.

A full medical report highlighting when your problems started, how they developed and how you have been basically stopped from going back into any real paid job - let alone the high paid job which lead to you contributing financially a lot into the marriage combined with the fact that now you are of no use in that way that he is upping and leaving leaves you in a strong position in financial remedy but a weak position right now mentally and physically.

Still, you seem a strong, optimistic and competent lady and despite the horrible things that have happened to you in your marriage and the trajedy in your life the world works in mysterious ways.

I have a very old friend who had a terrible life with two husbands, one who used to beat her up on a regular basis (she eventually got out of that as he ran off with a very close friend and left her) and then she married a man who appeared nice but the things he did to her behind closed doors when she disclosed them to me made me shudder.

Anyway, the upshot was that he left her too again for another woman but she has found her feet again. The most relevent thing was that she went into a wheelchair and was very crippled during her second marriage but after he left and she began to see what a strong and decent person she was she made a full recovery.

I do not suppose bearing in mind the complications of your medical condition that you will make a full recovery but the point I am trying to make is that prolonged stress and abuse and lonliness in a marriage has a huge phyical as well as mental effect - suppose that mind, body and soul.

You can get through this, you really can.

BTW you are not ranting.:)

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22 Aug 12 #351093 by amefbi
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Thank you so much

I did read ligatation rules 23 Feb 2011 and always follow up all info I find on this site when mentioned, and google terms etc. I believe knowledge is power.

Thats why I felt confident that I will be able to handle this on my own, Selfrep and then use sols only minimal. Not waisting time sending letters back and forth for months or years.

I think what upset me most was the dissapointment that my Son is helping his Dad in this war against me.

But Im ready for them, got my fighting spirit back and thats what I''ll be doing. I will be going back with our history of 6-7yrs and mention everything that I was not intending to do.

Thank you again for the support.

Thank you again.

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22 Aug 12 #351123 by Fiona
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It''s worth seeing a solicitor early on to find out where you stand and what options there are in your particular circumstances, even if you then decide to do it yourself afterwards or use a solicitor just on an ad hoc basis, although bare in mind doing it yourself can be a false economy.

The first free half hour appointment some solicitors offer is so that you have a chance to meet them to help you decide if you want them to work on your behalf and they can explain a bit about the general process. If you need more in depth advise your solicitor will want paying for his/her services. When someone is on a low income they may be entitled to legal aid and/or exemption from court fees.

If you are on a low income and aren''t eligible for legal aid the Community Legal Services may be able to help by providing contact details of a law clinic or some other source of free legal information.

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22 Aug 12 #351164 by amefbi
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My advise to anybody would be to use a Solicitor in Divorce at all times. Dont do this on your own, no matter what. Forget about emotions. This is serious business and just think about yourself. But I really just dont have the funds to do this, and thats why Ive said I''ll have to selfrep as far as I can get.

I only realised this is possible when I found this wonderful site. I have been informed and aware of the process,know what my options are and that my ''''demands'''' will be granted in court...I just have to get to court as quick as possible. I''ll be OK in another month or three with funds.

Stbx has no clue what is coming and I know his sols wont get any accurate info from him or that he will comply..even with court Jugdement..he believes he is untoucable or above the law.

He will soon have a wake-up call. And when he is in jail, I''ll visit him to show him a ''''moonie''''....is this the correct English word for ''you know what I mean'', showing him my bare backside :)

  • soulruler
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22 Aug 12 #351211 by soulruler
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There is not enough legal competency in the system at present. Bear in mind that last year the exchequor got 32 billion from corporation tax and low and behold this year month on month it was a deficit resulting in a large loan.

Local finances are linked to global finance and the sooner legal teams start acting with diligence the better - in my view we are already past the final hearing (i.e we have won or lost) finishing line.

What we are left now with is picking up the pieces and coming to terms with what we have collectively allowed to happen.

I think in a few years time we will look back and think that it was a luxury that we couldn''t afford to worry and dispute about the truth when the reality of global population growth,, resource depletion, population growth, fractional reserve banking and book keeping, climate change, food production hits us royally on the head.

Forget riots on the streets and complaints that the people in positions of trust (whether that be at a small scale those who you are separating from or those whom you consult as a result} because in the end game non of that is relevent; what is relevent is the situation that results - whether that is negative, positive or neutral.

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22 Aug 12 #351227 by amefbi
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I agree with you on this and in the end its a NHS problem...dealing with millions because of all the stressed involved.

Ive made up my mind now. Only gonna consentrate on Maintanance Pending Suit, that I strongly believe I will succeed. And relax. Will be in house and funds.

He can drag his feet then for as long as he wishes. Never gave me a tenner in 6yrs, and giving me £1000-£2000pm wont go down well for him. I have nothing to loose.

Thanks

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