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T-minus 1 week to doomsday . . .

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28 Aug 12 #352429 by soulruler
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I think that maggies post is very important, cross the lines of civility and you are into criminality. I have no doubt that you are totally distessed and feeling like a guilty crininal without a defence.

What is the point in accuing burgoning debt where in reality there is no possibility of you paying down that debt or facing the relenting reality of maintenence of debt?

If you were faced with a debt which you could not afford as a result of a contract with a "big" guy you would have the totally sympathy of the court.

Now you are faced with a burgoning and increasing debt as a result of a decision from a family judge in a maintenence order and the refusal of a district judge to allow a variation down so that you can contain that debt AND get back on your feet.

When you pass the bounderies of civility you are into criminalality, Maggie is quite right to point that out.

I have thought about this and if you are sure that your original request for a variation down was based on evidence and good faith I would be suggesting right now in your shoes that the refusal to vary down was an extrajudical (out of powers by way of evidence and law) decision by the previous judge and asking that the judgement debt (in effect) be made null and void and a variation down made, on notice for you to submit quarterly reports of company/personal performance in order that your commitments to your ex wife be maintained.

Remember that post divorce your commitments to your children can never be extinguished and that is a fact that applies equally to you as it does to your ex wife and indeed her legal team.

Pressure on but no more than if you fail to fight your corner right now.

Also remember that in order to set precedent you need to get into appellate courts. Keep going, as those of us with strength and evidence have an obligation not only to ourselves but to others who do not have the ability to fight their own corner. Never can this be a truer statement than to our own children and our own selves.

Keep going, do not give up.

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28 Aug 12 #352460 by aboy
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Thank you soulruler. The events that have occurred to date have been a cascade of episodes that keep going on and on. I am not expecting things to ever settle and the eventual outcome I believe is total destruction until someone will have to say enough is enough.

That maybe with me in prison (Oh God forbid) or she (ex) having a mental breakdown. The worse scenario, one which haunts me no end, is a family judge will say that the 2 parents are simply too entrenched in their attrition and fight and will take the steps to remove the children into care. That is an outcome that will destroy all of us. I am stuck in a whirlpool that I cannot get out of. It started when ex moved children and I had to follow.

I accept you call it a fight that I must keep trying, but my actions and counter actions are part of a process that the law of the land unwelcomingly inerrferes with and compels divorced individuals to engage a war in which there are no winners.

I will post outcome

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28 Aug 12 #352472 by soulruler
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I understand and accept your dispair having been under a similar (dare I say more extreme) situation as you currently now face.

I have myself questioned whether my children will end up in care not least because I believe my ex reported me to county hall on allegations of lack of care of our eldest son who has a mental and physical disability.

I do know personally what it is like to be questioned often not only by the Police but also by social services. Believe me when I say that it is traumatic, the allegation, the dramatic effects this has on your sanity and also proving that you are a decent parent and staying out of prison.

I am currently defending three penal notices which my ex has basically forced the courts to write. When I say forced what I mean is if you make a submission to court asking for an order and you know the request to be totally false do not expect the court to caution you against your course of action - basically as the order you seek is going to be a counter order (so one which goes against you).

You need to stand by your belief, stand by your evidence and I think believe in UK Courts and their independence.

Mostly, NEVER lie to yourself or anyone else, matter of self belief and self respect.

If things go wrong as a result at least at that point you know that you have done your best for you, your children and in the administration of justice.

I do believe in Justice: unless someone can prove me wrong I do not believe that the law is an ass, there is no such thing as justice and that the UK Judicary are old fashioned, prejudiced and conspiratorial with the legal class.

What I have seen and witnessed and truly believe is that they are committed to their oath (trust) to UK Courts as Crown servants as opposed to people who work in government who are largely civil servants - huge difference.

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04 Sep 12 #353798 by aboy
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Back from the gallows .. So an update as promised. Went to court, explained the situation with my finances in detail. Explained my improving business and gave optimistic current and projected view of my earnings. Quite intense questioning by the barrister but I was evidence based, to the point and calm. The judge said nothing. Lasted 45 minutes and that was it . . . They kept saying ''you have not paid the monthly SM as per court order''. I said I want to, will try to, am trying to, but please give me a chance. I can''t raise a loan, I don''t have any assets to rely on. And that was it. I walked away and not sure what they will do now or next. So it was not doomsday, but felt like a non event.

Pessimist within me thinks lull before the real storm, but I lived to tell the tale.

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04 Sep 12 #353820 by soulruler
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Well congratulations on keeping your cool and not getting too overwhelmed by the process.

Lets hope it is a good conclusion and the judge takes their time to come to a decent decision for you and your family.

Fingers crossed, please let us know when you get your judgement.

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