Ok, I''m really confused and need a little bit of advice - yet again!!
I''m at Decree Nisi have been for 10 weeks now, but because of the finances not being able to be discussed with STBX my Absolute won''t be granted until we have a solution.
Anyway, my question is, the STBX has lived in the FMH every w/e and due to circumstances myself and the children have had to stay at my parents when he is there!
I have been paying all the mortgage and all the bills myself and he never gave me anything for them.
He has, however been paying child maint.. If I ever managed to get to court to get all this mess sorted, will the judge force me to use these payments to service the mortgage and a rather hefty loan secured against the house???
I have paid the mort but we haven''t been paying the loan as my stbx expects me to pay all the mort and the loan which, together makes it totally unaffordable. The loan company have started proceedings for reposession now and we are in court on 22 October! I''m really worried now that I should have been using the child maint to pay both m/g and loan - even though it only covers one of them!
Well your husband is going to have to attend the hearing regarding the loan in the same way as you are, just bear that in mind if he doesn''t turn up and you will need to explain the circumstance that has lead you to not be able to keep up with the payments and the fact that he is living in the house at weekends forcing you and the children to vacate.
I personally do not think that a court can force you (although you are forced) to use child maintenence to pay a joint mortgage debt and a secured loan.
Somehow or another an agreement needs to be reached between you, the mortgage company and the loan company as well as a kick up the xxxx to your ex.
Where does he live when not in the house and does he have an income as maybe you should suggest an attachment of earnings order for him to start being committed to his debts and his family and children, it is ridiculous for him to think just because he pays child maintenence that it gets him out of any other debt commitments.
Are you going to be represented by a legal team in court or are you self representing?
He lives in a BnB during the week, but I heard from someone that he is stopping the child main so he can use it for a deposit for a flat that he has found!! I have phoned CSA to ask if this is possible and they said that if he does that then they will do an Attachment of Earnings.
But I''m only worried about the mortgage/loan at the moment. I am paying all the mortgage but because of this loan we could still lose the house! It seems ludicrous that he has gotten away with not paying for such a long time, but because my legal aid is taking so long to come through I''ve been forced into a corner really. He wants rid of the house because he doesn''t want to pay for me to live in it! This is what it''s all about, he hasn''t once thought that it''s a home for his children.
I actually think it will be the best thing to go to court, however, i am worried still that if he doesn''t turn up, he will yet again get away with not having to disclose his financial info. The papers that arrived for the repo have a disclosure form with it, so we both have to fill one out, but like you said, if he doesn''t turn up, I don''t know what will happen.
I can''t get a solicitor until my aid comes through and it''s taken 9 weeks so far!
Go to court, give as much information as you can including that your legal aid as not come through. Write a letter explaining what you have on here regarding the circumstance, where he lives during the week and the address if you know it.
Explain his threats now to even stop paying CM so that he can put a deposit down on a house. Just work through this as calmly as you can.
Once you have written your letter to the best of your ability send it to the company taking you to court, send a copy to the court concerned with the court reference on it so that it can be attached to the correct file. Do it as soon as you can, recorded to both court and the loan company, also I would advise to send a copy of your letter to the mortgage company as well so that they are advised that the loan company concerned is looking to reclaim the house based on the charge put on the house.
What you need to do now is your best, just your best and that is all you can do.
It may be when you get there that the judge decides to adjourn the hearing for more information or it turns into some sort of direction hearing for more information.
The parties involved should be in court and this is obviously of paramount importance for the housing needs of you and your children (not forgetting they are his too).
If you know who his employer is and their address you can put that in your letter too.
Hope that helps. Hopefully they may also say that it is adjourned until your legal aid is sorted and you have proper legal representation.
At the moment you are the underdog and in general courts take a dim view of companies that do not negotiate with their clients.
Keep your chin up and if you have any logs of any telephone calls or letters you have sent in the past either to the mortgage company or for the loan secured against the house take them to court with you so that the Judge can take a view.