Maintenance - spousal and child

Hi,

Thank you for your kind words.

I pay all the vet bill it''s due to finish soon !.

We are just starting divorce proceedings now hence her visit to solicitor.

She also asked me to pay for half the divorce !!!.

Thank you.

The actual divorce costs are neglible - it''s the arguing about finances through solicitors and the court that costs the money. I agree with the previous poster that your STBX could end up worse off. I just can''t see her getting that amount of Spousal Maintenance on joint lives. She will need to be looking at ways to increase her income I think.

The best thing for you is to go ahead with the divorce urgently and get everything finalised. Have you seen a solicitor yourself? I wouldn''t be surpised if, when you do, you are advised to stop paying anything but child maintenance.

You''re going to have to be strong to avoid being walked all over and quit paying the extras like £1500 for Christmas presents.

I agree with Action get a solicitor and make it a good one - who specialises in divorce - don''t make the mistake I did and get a general one. I understand she will probably apply for interim maintenance but that shouldn''t be anywhere near what your paying now and don''t pay half her costs I had no income and had to pay my own cost which amounted to over £11k I had to borrow the money and still paying it back. Get a good solicitor - be strong and stick to your guns - you have been more than reasonable. Pay the CM and give the kids presents direct - I bet they didn''t get £1500 worth of presents.it appears to me she''s taking advantage. Good luck.

I think it is detestable, this new trend that spouses at divorce go for the Absolute maximum they can get, simply because they think they can, with no recourse to reason or morality

Firstly, to put your mind at ease, it is almost impossible that a judge would grant "joint-life" spousal maintenance. There was a precedent set (can''t recall the case) where a wife gave up a City job to care for the children and argued her career could not resume to the same level after 20 years. Unless your wife is in a similar boat, she won''t get joint-life, and even then it would depend on your disposable income

I concur with others that you should be taking a more hand-on role; give the kids gifts directly, pay mortgage and bills directly (from your account to the 3rd party).

We get so used to the other partner''s greed, we start to think it is reasonable, and that they may get even more if they go to court. The anxiety is all in our heads

PM me if you need family lawyer recommendations. A cheap lawyers could cost you much more in the long run

I agree with Hasski. Get in the driving seat now! Has your wife actually applied for Ancillary Relief without you even starting any sort of discussions or negotiations?

Her solicitor must be rubbing her hands with glee at the thought of all the fees she''ll earn if this ends up in court.

Many solicitors offer a free half hour consultation. Best to gather as much financial information as you can before going so that you can get the most out of it. Maybe if your wife sees that you are being proactive she will stop thinking she can bleed you dry.

I''m sure someone more knowledgeable will come along and correct me if this is wrong but:

There are 2 issues here:
1. What she will get in the short term. She may apply for a Maintenance Pending Suit which is basically maintenance to tide her over until a financial settlement is reached but is unlikely to be successful based on the fact that a) you are already paying her more than £600 per month in mortgage and b) she would have to prove that she isn''t able to manage on her current income.

2. What she will get from the final settlement. This is quite a bit more complicated and may require more information for a proper answer.

and she''ll probably have to spend around £3000 for a MPS alone.