My wife filed for divorce a few months ago and we were trying to come to a financial agreement. I since was made redundant and so we paused discussions. I have recently managed to get a new job but it is less well paid. She is now refusing to proceed with divorce as she thinks I''m trying to short change her and wants to wait to see if I earn more. SHE originally filed for the divorce and its now that she is not going to be as well off financially she wants to stall. I now have a new partner and would like to proceed but we don''t have enough money to go to court. I have given her our house (with a mortgage but £150k equity in it), the £30k car, and half our savings (not much). And I am giving her CSA amount of child support PLUS half the childcare, half school costs. Is there anything I can do to make her proceed given she was the one that wanted to divorce without having to go to court? I am reluctant to withdraw half the childcare costs so she can go to work (which she thinks is me punishing her) but I am unable to see any other way to make her discuss our divorce again....
1. Will you please tell me what stage your divorce is at ? Not the financial part of it, just the divorce ?
2. Your wife''s argument is silly. The fact that you have a less well paid job must affect the maintenance. If you agreed maintenance based on your salary with Job A, if you lose your job and get Job B which pays less, this must call for re-negotiation. If your salary goes up she can apply for variation. It''s a daft argument.
All we have done is she has filed the initial documentation saying we are divorcing because of my "unreasonable behaviour", and the documentation about where the children will be staying (1 day a week with me, 6 days with her). It was an amicable breakup and she felt strongly about being the Petitioner and it didn''t bother me so I allowed it (I assume as she wanted me to pay costs).
It is a ridiculous situation of course, she keeps saying "its amazing how well you have organised this..." Like I wanted to lose my job?! I am SO much worse off than I was before! Unfortunately she has broken up with her partner as I have got together with a new one, she has just started work after 6 yrs off, and all in all my wife is quite bitter right now I think because of the turn of events. But I don''t want to keep delaying the divorce, we''ve been separated close to 2 years (during which time she hasn''t worked and I have fully supported her with half my salary)
It is time to push on with things in my view but it seems my only alternatives are to cut her down to bear minimum child support or take her to court...
Do you think it is sensible to agree to give her a certain percentage of your salary ?
You may have been able to afford that percentage with the previous higher paid job - but could you afford it when your basic salary is lower ? Don''t make a rod for your own back.
There are some men who will give their jobs and take other lower paid jobs specifically to spite their ex wives. It is something I almost always advise against. But you should be all right if you can demonstrate that you were made redundant and the redundancy was not voluntary.
I am not sure what happens when a party who has filed for divorce takes no steps to continue with it. Usually in litigation there are provisions somewhere to deal with this sort of thing, but I would take legal advice. Do you want to divorce yourself ?
Thank you. I think you are right that I need to get legal advice. I was just trying to limit costs. Supporting myself and wife through my redundancy has used up most of our savings and everything else is locked in the house (which I want her to keep as the family home for the children). I believe I do have to give her a % as per the Child Support Agency. There is simply no argument that I was forced out of my job - my whole department was cut and its been very damaging for my career. I suppose maybe I should wait a few weeks to see whether the aftermath of her relationship failing, my new relationship starting, and her having to start work settles down. If not I guess I will have to pay up and speak to my solicitor!
Thanks for your thoughts