Well here I go again. Just typed a lengthy message to lose it somewhere.
Divorced Dec 2011. My ex is a Pc, due to retire in Dec 2012 after 30 years.
We are both 52 years of age.
On separating we verbally agreed I would keep the house and he his pension. At the time I had no details of his finances. Money had been an issue for many years. I believe I am a fair and honest person.
When we filled in the financial statement his totals were £559,500 and mine 300,000. His is mainly the CETV of his pension although I believe he has undisclosed savings. Mine is the house and 70,000 CETV.
It was sent to the judge who refused to sign asking why no pension sharing order. We had to send a letter of explanation which my ex drafted, again the judge reused to sign and we had to appear in court last week.
After a short discussion the judge again stated it was unfair, wanted me to go away and give serious thought and seek legal advice.
I have spoken to several solicitors prior to the court appearance and they agree. I''m not sure what they can tell me any different to what I know. My ex says he is not going to give me any more money.
When we go back in 3 weeks I would like it settled or a plan at least.
I do want my ex to be able to buy a property. I realise the CETV is not a lump sum. After his retirement he will have a good pension, no,doubt another job, so quite well off.
Would mediation help?
What is the judge likely to think is fair?
Any thoughts and suggestions much appreciated. I''m starting to feel ill. I feel pressure from my ex to say I am happy with it, yet I know it isn''t fair. Do I just let it go for a quiet life?
Put pension sharing order into search on this site,excellent articles & you will see about public sector workers especially police & NHS CETV under values member pension, it will be worth more. Judge wants equality for you in retirement so look at it & good luck.
I am not surprised the judge won''t sign. You seem very poorly informed. You do not know your stbx''s financial position and cannot possibly agree anything unless you do. The amount he has in savings needs to be disclosed. As for the pension, cetv tends to undervalue police pensions. As he is about to retire he will be able to take a tax free lump sum. It would be 25% of the pot but, as I said it won''t necessarily be quarter of the cetv. You need to know what this is ... And what his pension income will be.
In my case ex had a cetv of some 250k. He was due to retire. His lump sum was circa 95k.
So your stbx could easily have enough to buy as well and a substantial pension income.
You are a long way from retiring so your cetv would most likely be offset against other assets at rate less than pound for pound. His on the other hand has a current cash value because it is about to be realised.
You say he won'' t give you any more. He will have to if a judge orders it.
I think you should forget the Consent Order. It is not fair to you and if it was stamped by the judge you would have no comeback once you realised how bad a deal it is.
Have you got an idea what his police pension will pay him when he retires at age 52?
Will he use the tax free lump sum as a deposit on a house?
One thing worth doing is to add together all the assets - pensions/ house/ cars/savings/investments - deduct any debts mortgages etc and slice the total down the middle 50/50 - what does each half share amount to and how does his current offer match up.
Not suggesting 50/50 is where it will end up but it''s a good starting point to try to get a handle on what would be fair.