Oh dear, I must have got out of bed the wrong side today ! I''m telling people off right left and centre ! I can assure you I''m really quite fluffy ! But sometimes, like Kent in King Lear, '' tis my occupation to be plain. And that is your dose of culture for today !
The reason why your solicitor is taking this line is that he cannot safely advise you without the full facts.
It is quite common these days for the spouse who is the parent with care to be awarded a higher share of the proceeds of the marital home
on sale. Sometimes, what can happen is that the other spouse gets a larger share of the pension to compensate. I stress I am talking generally here.
You don''t say whether the FMH
is to be sold or whether the lump sums you mention presuppose that the FMH is to be sold. I rather think it does but perhaps you will be kind enough to confirm.
Frankly, you are joint owners of the house and if you want to sell it and you can agree how the proceeds are to be divided then I can''t see why you shouldn''t - you don''t need a Court order to sell a house.
I''m going to admit to you that my ex wife and I did that back in ( you''ve guessed it ) 1984. At the time, I could have stayed in the FMH and there was no pressure on me to move ( my ex was in a mental hospital ) but I wanted to get on with it and start my new life. I understand exactly
how you are feeling now. We agreed two thirds to her and sold the house and everyone was happy. But in 1984 pension splitting was non-existent.
Let me tell you why I think it could be unwise for you to do what you want to do. It seems to be that the capital split is, to say the least, generous ( to her ) and if I were your solicitor, I''d want to use that generous split to get a generous split of the pension in your favour. Now that might not seem much to you now ; but it will when you''re my age, believe me.
If you sell the house and split the proceeds then that it irreversible and you have thrown away the '' bargaining chip '' you had to get an equally generous share of your pension.
No solicitor is going to allow his or her client to agree to a financial settlement without the full facts.