Hello, I am just about to start divorce proceedings. I was with my husband for 19 years, married for 17 years. He was in the police for 30 years and retired 10 years ago. He had a lump sum which he spent on the house, cars etc. We have been separated now for 3 years and have no contact as he no longer lives in the UK.and refuses to answer emails etc regarding the divorce. He went to work and never came home ending it by text message then paid 1400 a month on hotel bills, I had no job at that time. We initially said I would keep the equity in the house approx 55K and he keep his pension..tbh I was just scared of losing my home and finding a job asap. He has never paid into the mortgage since the day he left and when I looked into the fiances (as he dealt with them, we was thousands in debt to various companies) which I have since paid off. He is now living with his partner and her 2 teenage children. Our property is interest only and and mortgage 170K valued at 225K this needs to be sold when the mortgage term ends approx 6 years. I have always worked full time apart from 4 years to help with grandchildren. I am 54 he is 61 and gets a monthly pension approx the same as my monthly wage. I am in full time employment but on a basic wage and have to work a lot of overtime and he is self employed small scale. My pension pot is small. Not sure what to do. Any advice welcome. P,S i am doing a D.I.Y Divorce and will get a solicitor for the fiances due to my limited funds. Thank you.
Welcome to Wikivorce but sorry you find yourself here.
There is lots of useful free advice on the site. We also have some cost effective fixed price services to support you through divorce and financial settlement. Have a look at the services tab and maybe give the helpline a call? Say you have been directed there from the website.
A 30 year police pension will be a very valuable asset and should be part of the matrimonial pot for division. It will be worth much more than the equity in the house. If you have paid off joint debts from your own resources that could be considered as well.
The biggest concern here is housing and your future security. Have you looked at the cost of suitable alternative housing and explored what kind of mortgage you could get?
If he won't engage in discussion about financial settlement, you may have to consider an application to court to compel him to fully disclose his financial position. You can do this without a solicitor.
Any financial settlement needs to be based on full financial disclosure and must be seen to be fair. Needs are the priority. You each need a home and an income, now and in the future. You would each be expected to maximise your earnings.