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will my house purchased after seperation be includ

  • LittleMrMike
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29 Jan 08 #12284 by LittleMrMike
Reply from LittleMrMike
Dukey, my friend, I think the answer to your question is that your house could, at least in theory, be taken into consideration, and I think the advice you had from the Halifax was not really correct. But having said this, you have to find somewhere to live. Your wife has a house of her own, a very fortunate position to be in. So the practical risk of the Court making the sort of order that would force you to sell is, I would have thought, not all that great.

The chances are that your wife will ask for more than she actually expects to get. Most wives, I'm afraid, do this if for no other reasons than they like to leave themselves room to negotiate. If you agree your wife's terms without even knowing what her resources are, then I think there's a pretty good chance you will get a bad deal.

I am concerned that you appear to be willing to settle informally without having your agreement tied up and made legally watertight. That isn't illegal, of course, and it is of course perfectly possible that she may abide by the terms of the agreement and everyone lives happily ever after. But you have to understand there is a risk that she might come back for more. Last year, one wife did that 30 years after her divorce - and she got it for good measure. I am not joking. As long as you understand this is a possibility then the rest is up to you, but don't say I didn't warn you of the risk.

You seem so terrified of losing contact with your step children that you seem willing to accept almost anything rather than take the risk of being denied that contact. Yes, I take your point that human contact is very important, especially when you're dealing with young children. I believe it is possible for you to apply for a contact order which will give you some rights to keep in contact. But I will warn you, I am no expert on this, so you need advice from a family lawyer who specialises in this field. Can you be sure your wife will continue to allow contact after she's got you locked into an unfavourable divorce settlement ? You know her and I don't, so I can't and will not advise, beyond pointing out the risks as I see them.

No solicitor will give you advice on your finances without knowing the full financial situation, and for the same reason I can't advise you either. What I have said about finances is more in the nature of an educated guess. But you've done it, you've bought the house, and you're stuck with it, but I doubt if a Court would take away your house to give it to someone who already has one ; pretty repugnant to common sense and fairness. I understand why you want to avoid solicitors, but sometimes it can be false economy. If nothing else, book an hour's legal advice with someone who knows what he or she is doing . It won't cost the earth.

I am just worried that you could easily be badly hurt, both financially and emotionally. Sorry to be so blunt, my friend.

Mike 100468

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