I have been separated for a year after 24 years of marriage. Both children have left home and are financially independant. My wife had a property when I met her which was part of her divorce settlement from her first husband. We took on the mortgage from then on.She had about 50% equity (approx £15,000)in that house. We have moved house twice since and have a substantial amount of equity in our present house. My wife still lives there but wants to sell. As part of any financial settlement my wife wants the equity from the first house calculated at todays rate. She believes this to be around £125,000 . she wants this amount before any further financial split. My initial thoughts are that it should be a 50/50 split from the day we married, although I would agree to her getting the value of the first house at the time of us marrying, about £30,000 before any further settlement. Whether it makes any difference It is her decision to end the marriage. I hope this all makes sense and would value your advice and opinions. I think this site may well have contributed to my survival during some really tough times. It is good to Know that you are not alone in going through this messy business.
really hard times huh!Courts tend to go for 50/50 on the whole deducting any initial amount brought in by one partner. I'm not an expert but I have a friend who has helped 4 other people get through it all and seems to know what she is talking about. My situation is different in that my husband left me after 18 years, I put the deposit down from the sale of my house 7 years ago on this project of my husbands a self build, which I was not happy about as a huge mortgage was required and I would be the sole mortgagee (due to my husband being self employed builder and unable to get a mortgage) The deal was that once we moved in we would share all costs 50/50 but alas (and I should have knbown better) as soon as we moved in with just the bare essentials i.e. just a bedroom, en-suite, kitchen units, all work stopped. Since the day we met in 1989 my husband has only given me £200 per month towards,mortgage, the bills, and food. He left in Sept for another woman, denying it all at first.The sum of it is,I have begun divorce proceedings, not citing adultery (as he said he would contest it) but IB. I'm still paying the mortgage and feel so angry that for the last 3 years (i've just found his work diary's) he's been earning £2k per week!! and stashing it all under her mattress. I hope that in my case (and I can prove all my outgoings) the judge will favour a more fair split of at least 70/30. However my friend says I should just hope for 50/50 and any more will be abonus. My s2bx wanted me to just hang about and carry on as normal and wait for him to finish the house so he get get more laundered money from the house. Thts why I have instigated the divorce to take control back of my life and not him control it any more. Its impotant to feel you are making the decisions now in your life.
I know exactly how you feel, the lonliness and never ending thoughts about our ex's is soul destroying and so painfull. Like you, this site has saved me from some absolutly dreadfull nights when no one else seems to understand. I hope you manage to find some answers soon and the inner strenth. You sound like a well balanced, sensitive guy. Good luck and keep in touch xx