Since posting, I have spoken to the Agent who is marketing the other two properties and in the month they have been on the market, neither have had a viewing or even an enquiry.
We had a very long conversation and although we agreed the valuation on stbx''s was a little on the light side, it was not as far off field as I thought, so I have today had a conversation with the guy who valued it and he told me that is not a "show house" which I would say it was when I moved out of it a year ago - shame he has let it go but anyway, he agreed to speak to the stbx with a view to changing his valuation, but he said that he would not be asking him to increase it by much as he did not believe it was worth much more.
Having researched a number of "comparibles" over the last couple of days, I gave the agent a figure I would agree and said that I would argue his initial valuation but was prepared to accept "x"
The valuer came back and confirmed that he had spoken to stbx and after a long conversation he was prepared to accept the higher valuation and so the valuer will now revise his figure.
I feel although the actual difference in price is not a huge amount, it is a figure I am prepared to accept. It feels like a moral victory and I may be deluded but think it sends a strong message that I will not be messed with. I am being fair and honest, and I don''t see why the stbx should not be also. I only bought my house last year and was happy to accept a valuation which is higher than I paid for it.
Sort of, kind of, looking forward to the FDR now.
Thanks again guys for your opinions, they grounded me and made me look at the bigger picture
I didn''t chat with my stbx, we are way beyond that but I did speak with the valuer who in turn spoke to my stbx and between them they agreed the revised figure that i had indicated I would accept. In honesty and hindsight, I think I may have been able to push for more, but I am happy that it is a fair figure, neither too high or too low.
However you are absolutely right, I do feel ok about it as like I said, I believe it to be a minor victory and sent the right message - like you said, that helps a bit with the confidence.
Baby steps I suppose and the more of those I take, the nearer I get to be divorced from him